Jonathan Alter

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Fire in Clinton Campaign Headquarters Destroys Tax Returns

Andy Borowitz | Posted 04.11.2008 | Politics

Read More: Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Calvin Trillin, Fire Clinton Office, Fire Clinton Campaign Office, Clinton Office Fire, Clinton Indiana Fire, Clinton Campaign Office Fire, Politics News

A spokesman for the Clinton campaign said that the 2007 tax returns of Mrs. Clinton and her husband went up in flames along with everything else.

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China Moves Olympics to Undisclosed Location

Andy Borowitz | Posted 04.10.2008 | Politics

Read More: Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, China, Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Calvin Trillin, Olympics, Politics News

The reasoning behind the move was simple, a spokesman for China's ministry of sport told reporters: "You cannot protest what you cannot find."

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Degrees of Matriculation

Andy Borowitz | Posted 04.08.2008 | Living

Read More: Harvard, Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Calvin Trillin, Living News

While your SAT scores fall below the threshold for acceptance to Harvard's class of 2012, your Harvard parents' participation in our fund-raising appeals have gained you admission to a new program called LegacyPlus™.

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Market Tumbles on News That Bush Is Still President

Andy Borowitz | Posted 04.03.2008 | Politics

Read More: Ben Bernanke, Susie Essman, Jonathan Alter, Calvin Trillin, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Politics News

One solution reportedly being pondered by the Fed would involve sending Mr. Bush to Disney World for the remainder of his time in office.

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Nader Tells Gravel to Get Out of Race

Andy Borowitz | Posted 04.01.2008 | Politics

Read More: Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Ralph Nader, Calvin Trillin, Mike Gravel, Politics News

"If Gravel's presence in the race winds up leading to the election of a Republican who then leads us into a disastrous war, I don't know how he'll live with himself," Mr. Nader said.

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Hillary Vows to Stay in Race 100 Years

Andy Borowitz | Posted 03.30.2008 | Politics

Read More: Hillary Clinton, Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Roger Clemens, Barack Obama, Calvin Trillin, Politics News

Sen. Clinton added that she was refusing to announce an exit strategy from the race because "that would send the wrong message to the enemy."

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Hillary Says 8-Year-Old Bosnian Girl Was Actually Sniper

Andy Borowitz | Posted 03.26.2008 | Politics

Read More: Bill Clinton, Bosnia, Jonathan Alter, Calvin Tillin, John King, Hillary Clinton, Susie Essman, Clinton Sniper, Hillary Clinton Sniper, Clinton Sniper File, Sniper Fire, 2008 Election, Reverend Wright, Politics News

The senator said that moments after the "so-called little girl" presented her with the flowers, she revealed what the bouquet had been hiding: "a tiny semi-automatic weapon."

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Hillary Says She 'Misspoke' About Wrestling Bin Laden

Andy Borowitz | Posted 03.25.2008 | Politics

Read More: Hillary Clinton, Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, James Frey, Calvin Trillin, Kim Jong-Il, Osama Bin Laden, 2008 Election, Politics News

"I may have misspoke about what went on that particular day," Clinton said. "But it was a very busy time for me, what with having that knife-fight with Kim Jong-Il and all."

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Bush to Phase Out Environment by 2009

Andy Borowitz | Posted 03.23.2008 | Politics

Read More: Jonathan Alter, Susie Essman, Pope Benedict XVI, Calvin Trillin, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Politics News

The president said that by removing endangered species from the protected list one by one, he has been able to phase out the environment gradually "so that hardly anyone will notice it's missing."

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Lewinsky Releases White House Schedule

Andy Borowitz | Posted 03.20.2008 | Politics

Read More: Hillary Clinton, Nafta, Susie Essman, Jonathan Alter, Monica Lewinsky, Osama Bin Laden, HIllary Clinton Schedule, Hillary Clinton White House Schedule, Bill Clinton Infidelity, 2008 Election, Lewinsky Scandal, Politics News

Lewinsky hoped that in releasing the schedule she would put to rest nagging questions about her role in the Northern Ireland peace talks and the controversial NAFTA trade agreement.

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The Democrats' Color Scheme

Jonathan Alter | Posted 02.06.2008 | Politics

Read More: Super Tuesday, Hillary Clinton, Jonathan Alter, 2008 Election, Barack Obama, Politics News

Be still my heart! Political reporters like me might actually get the story we've been dreaming of, complete with enough complexities to keep us in clover all year long.

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My Conversation with Joe Klein and Jonathan Alter

Charlie Rose | Posted 01.30.2008 | Politics

Read More: John Edwards, Joe Klein, Edwards, John Edwards Drops Out, Charlie Rose, Jonathan Alter, Politics News

I talked to Klein and Alter about why Edwards didn't make an endorsement today when he dropped out of the race.

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Fox News: We Report -- Even if We Know It's False

Paul Begala | Posted 01.09.2008 | Media

After I told Fox yesterday that the story about me wasn't true -- and this is the surreal part -- they kept reporting it anyway. Fox's Garrett told me he'd "take it under advisement." Take it under advisement?

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Newsweek's Jonathan Alter and Liz Edwards Square Off On Health Care Debate

Matthew and Peter Slutsky | Posted 01.07.2008 | Home

Read More: 2008 Elections, Jonathan Alter, Elizabeth Edwards, New Hampshire, John Edwards, Health Care, Primary, Newsweek, Debate, Obama Clinton 2008, New Hampshire Poll, Barack Obama Hillary Clinton, New Hampshire Debates, Barack Obama Polls, New Hampshire Debate Abc, 2008 Election, Clinton 2008, New Hampshire Debate January 5, Obama Clinton, New Hampshire Polls, Clinton Super Tuesday, New Hampshire Debate Schedule, Hilarry Clinton Polls, John McCain, Obama 2008, Hillary Clinton 2008, Breaking Off the Bus News, Barack Obama, Barack Obama 2008, New Hampshire Primary, Obama Good Morning America, Breaking Politics News, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama Good Morning America, Home News

At a John Edwards event earlier this afternoon in Bedford, NH, we happened upon a very interesting conversation taking place between Elizabeth Edwards...

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Why Is Jonathan Alter Saying Obama Is The Most Electable Democrat When the Numbers Say Otherwise?

Ian Welsh | Posted 01.03.2008 | Politics

Read More: Edwards, Obama, Jonathan Alter, Newsweek, 2008 Primary, John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, Presidential Polls, Iowa Polls, Election Polls, Politics News

The most generous conclusion one can draw is that both Obama and Edwards are, within the margin of error, about as electable as each other.

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How Washington Is Nixing a Cancer Cure

Jonathan Alter | Posted 11.15.2007 | Politics

Read More: Lymphoma, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Cancer, Curing Cancer, Jonathan Alter, Politics of Cancer, Politics News

What if they found a cure for a cancer that afflicts half a million people, but a combination of stupid bureaucrats and greedy doctors kept patients from getting it?

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Handicapping The Election: Crystal Balls, Ouija Boards and the Three Long, Long Months 'Til February 5th

Huffington Post | Rachel Sklar | Posted 10.29.2007 | Media

Read More: 2008 Election, Jonathan Alter, Dan Rather, Mark Halperin, Media News

Halperin said that with "three titan candidates" in Hillary, Barack Obama and John Edwards, "I don't think Al Gore thinks he can come in -- and the polls don't suggest he can come in -- and shake this race up."

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