Today's weekender is for the rest of you who, for whatever reason, decided to opt out of the whole Coachella experience. Luckily, there's no reason to despair at being left behind, as we luckily live in Los Angeles, not Topeka, and there's never a dull moment here.

We're squeezing out one more weekend of fun before family obligations hit hard next week. Sure, that means our fair share of Christmas events, but we're also dipping into a couple of once-in-a-millenium parties to usher in the so-called End of the World.

If you aren't knee-deep in goodwill towards man, you are, like most of the Internet, probably knee-deep in goodwill towards Ikea Monkey instead. This little guy and his subsequent web frenzy were basically what got us through this week.

Traversing this month's landscape of holiday cheer is a full-time job. Not to mention your actual job, your social life, and the fact that you can't pay for any of it. Never fear, we weeded through this weekend's onslaught to give you the best of the best.

There are sample sales to pillage, books to be signed, and a gaping hole in our highbrow culture world that needs filling. This weekend, we're living it up... with nary a puppet nor biopic in sight.

With a couple of days before Election Day, this weekend would have been a nice reprieve from the chaos. Then came Sandy. First, donate to The Red Cross. Then have a good weekend like those New Yorkers are trying to do. Gotta love that east coast resilience!

This is THE weekend we've all been waiting for, the one in which it's considered socially acceptable to dress up like idiots and parade around getting tipsy on pumpkin-flavored beer. In other words, it's like every other weekend, but with costumes.

It's not every day we get to watch two grown men in matching American flag pins argue for the length of a feature film. Kudos if you managed to take in the entire thing -- we'd say you deserve a weekend full of burgers, shopping, and block parties.

While we like to dabble all over town, the return of Carmageddon this weekend is a good excuse to exercise a little neighborhood pride. So whether you're a breezy Westsider or a hipper-than-thou Eastsider, we've got you covered for the weekend.

Simmer down and drown out the election year chatter with wine tastings, yard sales, DIY projects, and glitchy DJs -- you know, weekend stuff. Here's what we'll be up to over the next three days.

It's that time of the year again: All our gloaty East Coast friends can't stop beaming about their damn foliage. And why, you might ask, could we care less? Because this weekend's got fun in spades -- and not an apple-picking adventure in sight.

After weeks of extreme weather, the heat's finally giving us a much-needed break from its tyranny. To celebrate, we are going to run around the city all weekend. Heck, we might even bring a sweater!

With temperatures pushing 90 all week, we at Broke Girl's Guide are just about ready to ditch our work-appropriate clothing and wander into the office in a bikini. This impulse alone is proof that this weekend can't come quickly enough!

While we're trying not to dwell on the passing of July, we vow to make the remains of summer worthwhile so that we don't find ourselves suddenly decorating pumpkins with no sandy stories to tide us through the brutal L.A. winter months.

As the games kick off in London on Saturday, we'll be busy busting a move in LA in celebration of National Dance Day! Learn some moves and catch a special performance from Cirque du Soleil at the opening of Downtown's Grand Park.

We love L.A. summers, and we don't use the "L" word often. Life would only be better if we were rich and summering in St. Tropez, but until that goes down we're pretty content with the following.

You know those weeks that are so rough that you actually consider becoming Hef's #1 girl so that you can move into the mansion and cease to worry about anything but your spray tan? We at Broke Girl's Guide are having one of them.

Exhausted from dealing with the psychopath who calls himself your boss? Head to Culver City and grab a snack from Fraiche's secret menu. Then, catch an 8 p.m. screening of the classic (we're not kidding) film Center Stage.

Who needs a yacht on the French Riviera when you've got an early 20th century bathtub and some Trader Joe's bubbly?

We've put together an intensive itinerary that should keep you so busy this weekend that you nearly forget what has to happen when you wake up on Monday morning...

This weekend looks like it'll provide for more than one opportunity to live up our youth, being that it includes Cinco de Mayo, MC Hammer, the Kentucky Derby, and a Mexican wrestling/burlesque show. Here goes...