Limiting the ability of up to 2 million additional prospective parents to provide homes to waiting children does nothing to help kids in foster care. And if we actively recruited LGBT people nationwide to serve as foster and adoptive parents, we could possibly solve the foster care crisis.
In the workplace, today's families navigate a process historically referred to as "maternity leave," a term that really doesn't apply to (a) adoptive families or (b) same-sex families where the couple happens to be male. Kyle and I brought both circumstances to the table.
Just like any expectant parent, my vague intellectual understanding just meant that I really didn't have a clue. But after a year as Mia's dad, I've come to learn a few things, none of which feel like I ever thought they would.
During the Supreme Court arguments in the Proposition 8 case last week, there seemed to be some confusion about the social science evidence concerning same-sex parents and their ability to raise children, but there is no "disagreement" among the experts about what the research says.
People didn't ask us if we, as two men, were prepared to raise a child, and they didn't warn us about the importance of making sure our son has female influences (he does). They simply congratulated us and warned us to "kiss sleep goodbye." It's time for our laws to catch up with our culture.
So as my family progresses across the choppy emotional sea of social change, though I still face resistance every time I meet up with pain, instead of ignoring the hurt, I'm trying to make space for it.
Recently I sat down with my friend Ryan Nickulas, whom you may remember from The A-List: New York. Ryan and his husband Desmond have started the process of selecting a surrogate, so I felt compelled to delve a little further and get Ryan's take on parenthood.
During a self-congratulatory mental victory lap after a successfully thrown one-year-old birthday party, my mom busted out with a question that hit the room like an anvil/headache/roadside bomb all wrapped up into one.
We were told that of all the families presented to her, this young mother chose us. She said that the baby would be her Christmas gift to us. And attached to that same email was the ultrasound she had done the day before. All I could do was stare.
A little more than 24 hours after a young man in Newtown, Conn., gunned down 20 children, their caretakers and his own mother, hearing my kids equate death with "boy stuff" takes the breath out of my lungs.
Family Restaurant is a media project for young children whose parents are lesbian or gay. It features cute puppets and real children of gay or lesbian parents. My producing partner Jamie is a gay dad, and he and his family appear as the heroes who save the day.