Recently I sat down with my friend Ryan Nickulas, whom you may remember from The A-List: New York. Ryan and his husband Desmond have started the process of selecting a surrogate, so I felt compelled to delve a little further and get Ryan's take on parenthood.
During a self-congratulatory mental victory lap after a successfully thrown one-year-old birthday party, my mom busted out with a question that hit the room like an anvil/headache/roadside bomb all wrapped up into one.
We were told that of all the families presented to her, this young mother chose us. She said that the baby would be her Christmas gift to us. And attached to that same email was the ultrasound she had done the day before. All I could do was stare.
A little more than 24 hours after a young man in Newtown, Conn., gunned down 20 children, their caretakers and his own mother, hearing my kids equate death with "boy stuff" takes the breath out of my lungs.
Family Restaurant is a media project for young children whose parents are lesbian or gay. It features cute puppets and real children of gay or lesbian parents. My producing partner Jamie is a gay dad, and he and his family appear as the heroes who save the day.
When same-sex couples are given the opportunity to raise a family, we see it as a privilege. We are fighting to make the formation of families with all legal protections a right, not a privilege. It's time we reclaim the label "pro-family," because we have the protection of all families in mind.
Accompanying a recent Huffington Post article I wrote was a photo of my family, taken by Sara + Ryan Photography. That photo resulted in so many queries about the duo's work, which is focused on LGBT families, that I thought it would be fun to learn more about Sara and Ryan.
Adoption is therefore something I've had time to consider, and consider it I have. I've considered the hard questions: Will they know their birth parents? And the even harder questions: Will the other parents let me Instagram our kids' playdates?
Gay dads don't get many advantages in the parenting landscape these days, but for whatever reason, due to a patriarchal Hollywood complex or just mere coincidence, there is a full treasure trove of great, father-affirming family material available.
Rupert Everett has spoken with the grace of a toddler throwing a brick. In an interview with the British Sunday Times, he said, among many things, that he "can't think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads."
It seems that you, Elton John, and George Michael can't skip a day without such pithy nonsense running from your mouths. However, in this particular case, you were talking about me, my parter, our kids, and all the other LGBT families out there.
I hobbled to my computer and spent an hour reading articles with titles like "Top 10 Ways to Be a Good Dad," to see what I might be missing. Turns out these articles were not so much about being a good dad as they were about being a good parent. Huh.
What is ultimately at stake in LGBT parenting cases is not the rights of adults but the well-being of children. It should be obvious that legally denying an entire category of children the opportunity to have two legal parents undermines rather than promotes their best interests.