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Listening to Elders

4 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore When Dating

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 12.05.2014 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

Over and over, when it comes to marriage the elders point to decisions that completely ignore the evidence and show bad judgment. They believe there are a set of signs so strong and compelling that they tell you to get out of the relationship. However many people ignore the clear warnings and get married -- and, the elders tell us, live through a horrendous period suffering the consequences of that dumb decision.

Letters to Our Former Selves

Ari Andersen | Posted 05.24.2014 | Healthy Living
Ari Andersen

I have embarked upon a quest to learn -- and hopefully to grow -- from the wisdom of my elders. The past is humanity's great equalizer, and we all have a story worth sharing.

Imagine

Dianne Harman | Posted 04.12.2014 | Fifty
Dianne Harman

The next time that older person starts to talk, listen and ask some questions. You might get some firsthand knowledge from someone who's experienced what you've only read about!

Growing Up in Africa, I Couldn't Wait to Get Old

TueNight | Posted 04.12.2014 | Black Voices
TueNight

Alas, no one wants to get old in America. No one respects the years you have toiled, the adversities you have overcome, the sheer triumph of just being able to make it to the subway station at all, frail, shaking, fragile.

The Marriage Mistake Almost Everybody Makes

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 03.29.2014 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

Of course, there's no way to know for sure you're picking the right partner. But I gained a key insight from our interviews over the past several years with around 800 of the oldest Americans -- a group that if you add it all up had over 25,000 years of experience in marriage.

7 Questions We Need To Ask Every Older Person

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 01.23.2014 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

I'm proposing a new holiday. Or rather, a new use for an old holiday. I believe that we should make Thanksgiving the day when we celebrate elder wisdom by asking older people to tell us their advice for living. Here's why.

Before 'I Do,' Ask This Question

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 04.02.2013 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

In our interviews with hundreds of long-married couples about what works and what doesn't for a long and satisfying relationship... it turns out that our elders believe there's something close to a 'magic bullet' when it comes to deciding in a relationship: 'Should I stay or should I go?'

Elders Reveal The One "Magic Bullet" To Successful Parenting

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 08.16.2012 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

In our interviews with over 1,200 of the oldest Americans in the Legacy Project, we asked them in detail for their advice about parenting. In our hectic and driven society, parents look endlessly for programs, gimmicks and therapies to improve their relationships with children. But what do the elders say?

Secrets To A Happy Marriage (From the Real Experts)

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 08.11.2012 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

In our surveys of the life wisdom of the oldest Americans, I was particularly interested in their advice about finding a life partner and staying married. Many of the elders we talked with in the Legacy Project had been married for 30, 40, 50 or more years. Here are their three top lessons.

The End of the Greatest Generation: Is Anyone Paying Attention?

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 07.02.2012 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

I recently had a stunning realization: We're about to lose one of the most precious resources in America. I'm not talking about oil, gas or rare metals. What we're about to lose Is the living presence of the elders who make up the Greatest Generation.

Words Of Wisdom That Changed My Life

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 05.24.2012 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

What happens when you receive life-changing advice? Do you take it all in at once? Or does one particular sentence or even phrase stay with you, becoming a part of the way you look at an issue or challenge?

Why Should We Listen to Old People? A Very Good Question

Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. | Posted 03.17.2012 | Fifty
Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D.

Younger people are right to ask: Why should I spend time listening to old people's advice about how to live my life?