Needles were useless in my hands back then, but now, they are a connection to my mother that will never unravel.
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It used to seem futile to me to keep someone alive when they couldn't respond and had no hope of recovery. But that someone had never been my mother.
Becoming older than a parent can be a troubling transition. At the most base, mathematical level, it's hard to comprehend how they can still be your parent if you are older than they ever were.
It's uncanny that Mum died the day before we were scheduled to depart. I ate volumes of candy during that long train ride. Nobody suggested I shouldn't. And I've always suspected that a lifelong pattern of episodic over-indulgence began that day.
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