Lance Armstrong may have pulled a fast one (or seven) on us, and Manti Te'o may be the weirdest liar in the history of sports, but please don't fret: You can trust your sports heroes.

In this edition of Weeklings!, I uncover the Academy's idiocy with splintering detail -- even though I have an insane, eternal obsession with the Oscars. Love you, AMPAS! Even if you truly enjoyed Silver Linings Playbook.

Stop it with your awful promises and vows for 2013. In this edition of Weeklings!, I announce the gay-ish resolutions I'm making, and maybe you'll subscribe to them, too. Wait till you see what's on my "reading" list.

In this edition of Weeklings!, I admit every last bit of truth I've been holding back. The Mayans are probably right, so why go on living these lies any longer?

In this week's edition of Weeklings!, I toast all the Christmas classics: Miracle on 34th Street, Meet Me in St. Louis, Christmas Vacation, Bad Santa and many, many others. But only one can be best -- and gayest. Join me as I select the number one and, for the hell of it, rip on Chevy Chase.

In this edition of Weeklings!, I argue on behalf of Kate Middleton's relevance, pointing out why the lovely lady is a worthy member of pop culture. Stick around for the end, when I offer a bunch of perfect names for her kids.

I explore the history of celebrity couples and point out which ones are my least favorite. I even pick a worst. Feel free to fight me, but as usual, I think you'll find that my logic is irrefutable -- or else too spastic and asthmatic to be argued. Warning: I am very mad at Ryan Reynolds.

Rihanna's new single "Diamonds" is out this week, which made me wonder: Do we even have a "Queen of Pop" anymore? And if so, who is it? Does she matter?

Fortunately, I have a bunch of logical explanations for what Ms. Hilton really meant to say. In this edition of Weeklings!, I discuss the valid points she was trying to make. Get ready to learn.

The LGBT community had a pretty newsworthy summer -- in good, bad, and ugly, chicken-related ways -- and it's already time that we reflect on the season and make sense of it all. Prepare yourself for a blitz of summer 2012 realness.

Say hello to The Gay Beatles! That's me, Bryan Safi, Jeffery Self, and Guy Branum. Here are The Gay Beatles picking our personal favorite First Ladies, Golden Girls, Spice Girls, and many more.

After three days of the Republican National Convention, I'm ready to process all the valuable adages, smart talking points, and LGBT-positive sentiments that Mitt Romney and his coterie offered us. Spoiler: It's a pretty short process. And a sarcastic one.

How silly were straight people this week? Avril Lavigne and the Nickelback guy got engaged, and Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his seven Tour de France victories. Bad job, heterosexuals!

Hope you enjoyed Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, that special August 1 holiday where some of our greatest intellectuals abandoned their monster truck rallies and gathered 'round Heterosexual Chicken Emperor Dan Cathy.