I've been writing an advice column in some shape or form for close to 10 years now, and I can say with confidence that at least 75 percent of the letters I receive from married people are about issues that could have been avoided if the couples had better communicated their expectations about married life before tying the knot.
As my wife and I approach our first anniversary, I've taken some time to think about all the lessons I've learned over the past year (let's be honest -- all the lessons my wife has taught me). There's one lesson I've yet to write about, though. And I happen to believe it's the most important lesson I learned in my first year of marriage.
Emotional support is the idea that your spouse cares what happens to you in your day. Emotional support is knowing that you have someone one on your side, cheering you on through the difficult moments. It's celebrating with you in your triumphs. It's being there with you in the quiet moments, sharing in life together.
For me kids are a life game changer -- and while I would never stay in my marriage if I felt it was no longer a loving and supportive relationship, I know that having my kids keeps me grounded and forces me to work on it so that I can provide them with a two parent home that is their soft place to fall.
"Don't give up the apartment." It was my first of what would eventually add up to 10 yearly appointments with Terry, a psychic who was popular among media types. But, real estate advice was hardly what I wanted for my $150. No, I wanted Terry to tell me what most people go to psychics to hear: that there was love on the horizon.