Thinking unethical thoughts doesn't make you unethical. It makes you feel unethical -- no harm in that. Provided, that is, you get a solid grip on the principle that acting on unethical, or insecure, feelings won't ever make them go away. It makes them come back even stronger.

The fact is that not all lies are bad, and there really is a time to lie. I'd even go so far as to say that a little lying can be healthy. As Lord Byron once said, "What is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in masquerade."

If we refuse to see what Lance did, and what everyone else does who craves the rewards of celebrity adulation, as a reflection of our own misguided longing, then we are the real dopes.

What do Lance Armstrong and Bernie Madoff have in common? Are they a different species from each other and from us? No, they are all too human. Like many of us, they want to be superhuman. The difference? They feel driven and entitled to go for it at any cost.

What would the world be like if we all became better at catching lies in the making? Would there be less lying all around? Maybe not, but there would likely be fewer victims if people could learn the signs and signals that they're in the process of being duped.

All the recent public talk about truth and deception got me thinking about the phenomenon of lying. I wish I could say that from this day on, I'll never tell a lie. But here's what gives me pause: the story of my departed grandfather.