"I can't quite reconcile that I'm now the mom saying the things I used to hate to hear as a child."
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 04.04.2012
"You'd think they would know it's not a disease," my daughter said as we watched Emma's parents on Glee discuss her OCD. "Jeesh. I'm a kid and I know that."
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 02.29.2012
The fact that I'm a parent does not obviate my need to reassess, re-evaluate and continue to craft my goals and resolutions, and while I can't say with 100 percent certainty, I am pretty sure they involve more than getting dressed.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 01.28.2012
Let's face it; where your birthday falls can be directly proportional to how much attention you get, and things like that are darn important. They affect self-esteem. They affect sibling relations. And, of course, they affect presents.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 01.16.2012
Traditional romance can get watered down once there are kids in the picture. With light-sleeping children, the vision of years of potential therapy bills surrounds us every time my husband and I try to remember how we made them in the first place.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 01.09.2012
Bullying, some would argue, is also a tradition. It's been happening for generations, and is often even passed down within families. The weapons change through the years, but the victims tend to remain constant, kids who are different.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 12.02.2011
We're lifting the lid on "Toilet Repair Month." I know, I know, I'm sort of down in the dumps about it too; just when you think you could overflow with excitement about summer, there it goes, swirling away. May it rust -- er, rest -- in peace.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.27.2011
I'm not too young for menopause -- my children are too young for it. Or, rather, for me to be in it. I just finished telling them how a woman's body makes babies, and now I have to tell them how it stops.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.16.2011
I assume I know my children pretty well. I know their likes, dislikes, fears and dreams. I used to know these things, anyway. Now, I'm not so sure.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.11.2011
He came home from school a few days later, put down his backpack, and said, "Hi, Mom! Um . . . you were drunk, weren't you?"
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.08.2011
Someone told me once that your child needs a cell phone when you need your child to have a cell phone. That makes sense to me.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
I couldn't help wondering what the heck my daughter is listening to these days and why it is even allowed on the radio. Things have changed so much since I was a kid, it seems.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
I'd heard of the phenomenon, six-years-old going on 16, but assumed my parenting skills were such that I'd be exempt. She couldn't be more excited about school and I couldn't be more afraid.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
The purpose of a vacation, they say, is to make us feel better. It is an opportunity to escape from real life for awhile, to pamper ourselves, to do things we ordinarily don't do.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
The problem with tweeting, it would seem, even if one is able to keep the tweets on the level of the mundane, is a lack of editor. A lack of filter. It's like unprotected sex.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
I do not clean. I do not cook. My house may be a mess, but scientists discovered that a certain amount of dirt and dust may actually be helpful in building kids' immune systems.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
Men's wrinkled faces are "craggy" and "rugged." Women's are "lined" and "worn." Men get theirs through a lifetime of adventures, while ours come from being old and tired.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
I'm not a perfect mom, but I always thought I was a good one. Then one day I broke my daughter's leg.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 05.25.2011
The fact that there is drama, that there are embarrassing situations, that I am capable of saying and doing stupid things sans alcohol was truly an eye-opener.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
My husband went grocery shopping the other day and came home with my favorite cookies. You're waiting for me to say, "April Fool," aren't you?
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
For 12 years this dog was at my side, through good times and bad, through dating, marriage, kids. He watched me grow up -- was living proof that I was capable of taking care of something other than myself.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 11.17.2011
As I thought about the whole event, I don't know what disturbed me more - forgetting my child, forgetting whether or not I actually forgot my child, not knowing how to use simple technology ...
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 05.25.2011
In a burst of classic male logic, he outlawed marriage, because obviously if a man couldn't have a wife, the next best thing would be to kill people.
Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 04.20.2012