Last week a clown walked into my office, decked out in a creepy clown costume, a painted smile and tearfully asked, "My wife and I are already divorced. Is there something I can do to get her the hell out of my life?"
Chalk it up to nature, nurture, biology, destiny or innate gender differences: The fact is, men and women--especially when they are married to one another--often have a hell of a time with the basic exchange of ideas and information.
I'm tired of men lecturing women on how to behave in relationships and teaching them how to not screw it up. So, here's a little piece I'd like to call "5 Reasons That This Advice Doesn't Make Any Sense."
I know a woman who recently asked her husband to either give her his Facebook password or close out his account after she found an email that he had sent to a former classmate that she found to be rather suggestive. He thought it was perfectly appropriate. Who's right?
You fall in love, put your frontal lobe in a jar and marry a guy you later on find you don't know all that well. Why? Because the most reliable aspect of falling in love is that you will fall out of it. On average after 18 months, according to scientists.
It's easy to slam one of these symbolic doors shut when our partner disappoints us in some way. But when that becomes the normal way that we respond to each other, the trust, safety and foundation of the relationship is eroded.
Just because it is totally common for us to start feeling, say, hostile, toward our partner when junior comes home from the hospital, it doesn't mean that those feelings are harmless -- to the marriage or to junior.