Although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow. The job of marriage is to refine our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness.
When you believe that God is in everyone, you see him everywhere. As a student of mine reminded me recently, it isn't that we find goodness to believe in it; rather, when we believe it exists, we start to see it everywhere.
With wedding season in full bloom, this post is my gift to those of you who are just starting out. Here's the advice I wish I'd been given as a newlywed, rather than having had to figure it out on my own.
Paris holds a dear place in our hearts. Our first trip to the City of Lights held sentimental value with a proposal four years ago. We didn't feel like waiting another year to celebrate a five year milestone.
Once upon a time, were you one of those couples who agreed on everything? You know the ones -- the pair everyone was jealous of, because you seemed so perfectly matched? Chances are, once you had kids, you had a rude awakening.
I want my home to be the place that is filled with love, support and laughter. So, when the disconnect is weighing heavier than the good stuff, it's time for a regroup, reboot, retreat, or in this case, a couple's workshop.
Before we had a kid we didn't need date nights to have an adult conversation or a meal that lasted more than five minutes. But now, date nights have become a necessity and suddenly, we are back to the pressure of having to carry on a witty conversation, put on cute underwear and have sex.
We weren't supposed to be the ones in a perpetual fight. We were the couple who highlighted and dog-eared our marriage books. My wife was still my dream. Yet, something was missing. We both felt it. And we both wondered why.
To most people, being in a relationship means that you have someone that is always there for you, a constant support system, and an indefinite friend to share experiences with. In the majority of cases, this is a worth-while set up, but for some of us it truly isn't all that simple.
At 24 years old, I thought I knew I was doing -- because when you're in your twenties, you think you are wise beyond your years. But after two children and 10 years of marriage, clearly I wasn't wise enough, as my "happily ever after" ended with divorce.