What does it mean -- for something to hit the spot? Makes sense in the game of darts, landing from a parachute jump and an archery competition. But can we apply it to good or even great sex? We think so. Know so.
Feeling safe in a relationship is a process, and couples will need to develop tools and ways of communicating, much of which is non-verbal, to return to the secure feelings once the inevitable flare ups occur.
For all we know Ryan Reynolds can only have sex with Blake Lively if he can see himself in a mirror, Gisele Bundchen's hipbones might cause chafing during intercourse, Brad Pitt might be smothered to death by Angelina Jolie's lips.
Couples can keep their relationship fires burning, even after years of marriage. But they have to consciously and deliberately make it happen. It doesn't happen by default, no matter how much in love you were in the beginning.
Take heed young men and women searching for a spouse. Make sure you pick someone that makes you tingle at his or her touch. Figure this out before you order the wedding invitations, hire a band and book the venue.
But in time, the perception of our relationship became much less compelling than our actual relationship. We married. There was a baby, and then another. We built a home and grew a business. Towers were targeted and toppled. We had twins. His mother died. In short, time passed.
I realize most divorced guys who hadn't been with anyone in six years would react differently. They'd sleep with anyone with a pulse, and even that's negotiable. Yet I was secretly happy nothing happened. But why?