The lower cost of living here meant they could make career choices that were less based on salary considerations, and the smaller range of choices in everything from preschools to restaurants meant they'd be less compelled to reach for things that would end up making their lives harder.

There is no shame in being broke, theoretically. But that hasn't stopped me from feeling horrible shame at how broke my family is.

You can perhaps imagine my shock two years ago when my then-6-year-old asked me if she should "make a Valentine's Day present list." At first, I was impressed -- what a sophisticated joke. Alas, no joke. "Seriously, Mommy. What are you going to get me? I mean, besides candy."

One gift you can give your teenager before they graduate from high school is a bigger picture of the world. After all, it's only getting smaller.

Gratification still feels good. It is central to our brain's reward and motivation systems. But when we confuse it with actual happiness, we think that we can't really be happy -- or that our kids won't be happy -- without all the gifts and shopping.

We studied store maps like Indiana Jones planning a crusade for the Holy Grail and figured out where the Barbie Jeeps were hidden. On Thanksgiving night, I tucked my little turkeys in the bed and pushed my husband out the door, into the cold, cruel world that is Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

All you as a parent can do is educate yourself about these unhealthy influences on your children and do your best to limit their exposure to those messages and expose to them to positive values that will counteract the bad ones.