This is a common phenomenon among both men and woman who claim that all they want is a happy relationship, and they lament that this wish is never fulfilled.

On a rainy Sunday evening I returned from St. Michael's Medical Center in Newark, having visited my brother, who had a heart attack the night before. The upshot -- which of course I'll make positive, since that's how I view life -- is this.

Aging and changing might be inevitable, but they ain't easy. They precipitate in us a great uncertainty. The myriad dramatic disturbances of modern middle life create an overwhelming crisis of identity and purpose for each of us.

Though seasons are pretty consistent and recognizable when they cycle back through, there is one thing that is different -- sometimes dramatically different: us.

What gives a person's life meaning is unique to every individual. At one point or another, most of us find ourselves asking if we are truly living a life that is meaningful to us. In other words, are we really living the life we are meant to lead?

To be an essential member of a personally fulfilling group can be very empowering. However, it can also keep you stuck. In order to experience real growth, we need to challenge the sometimes staid comfort of staying put.

We tend to view blame as a necessary behavior, a way to seek justice, a synonym for accountability or responsibility. But it's none of these.

At any point, in any situation, in any story in your life, you have the capacity and the choice to actually discover what is underneath the language of thought. What is unaffected, unmoved, unbound by the telling of any story?

The Casey Anthony trial and the Anthony Weiner affair have us feeding off the news and pointing fingers. Why? Because it is our own secret nightmare on display for everyone to see.