There is only one sure bet about divorce, and that is this: hiring a divorce lawyer will only make things more expensive and nasty.
Grande Lum | Posted 09.07.2009 | Living
When you can distance yourself from your response, you separate the reaction from yourself.
Grande Lum | Posted 09.01.2009 | Living
Unlike a comedian who has to setup a punch line carefully and wait for the right beat, you can come back to an issue that happened hours, weeks and even years ago to work things out.
Grande Lum | Posted 08.23.2009 | Living
A mediator in a conflict can see people's temperatures rising and make choices to lower them immediately.
Grande Lum | Posted 08.13.2009 | Living
In conflict, two people can view identity as a zero sum game. The more right you are; the more wrong I am. You can sense this mentality creeping into stories we tell ourselves and other people.
Grande Lum | Posted 08.07.2009 | Living
Catch the ways you leave out the other person's perspective. Alter your actions by altering the stories you tell yourself and others.
Grande Lum | Posted 08.06.2009 | Living
Feeling forced to choose to be assertive or empathetic is natural. Yet you may actually feel mixed and even desire to both assert and empathize.
Grande Lum | Posted 12.11.2008 | Living
If you are already scratching your head about the other person before you've even engaged with them, then you are missing something.
Grande Lum | Posted 11.14.2008 | Living
Each reaction to a difficult person is a learning opportunity. If rage overwhelms you, then you can learn to control rage. If fear paralyzes you, then you can learn how to gain safety from that fear.
Belinda Etezad Rachman | Posted 11.23.2009 | Living