There's an extra layer of shame to being told you're an old slut. A young woman's "sluttiness" can be excused in part because she hasn't lived long enough to buy into social mores, and she's too hormonal to delay gratification. But an older woman who admits that she likes erotic pleasure without all the packaging? That's not just slutty, apparently, it's freakish.
Here I was at 50, rediscovering my sexuality with new partners, and more at ease with my body than I had been when it was "perfect." I no longer have the time, money, or inclination to exercise obsessively as I once did. I have better things to lament than the situation with the underside of my arms. I look at the sloping breasts that fed two babies, the skin that hangs down slightly from my belly when I bend over, and I think, not bad for 50!
This is a rather confusing time in my life; in fact, it's almost like being a teenager all over again (minus the wonderfully un-saggy skin and quick metabolism). My hormones are shifting. My body is changing. I'm feeling new sensations -- both mentally and physically -- and everything seems to be fluctuating.