When performing black femininity at the request of white or non-black spaces, we are continuing the violence against black women. Without reconciling the privilege of masculinity, we are continuing that violence. Letting our white gay counterparts parade black femininity only reproduces the problem.
When it comes to the fringes, neither side is really fighting about what they say they are -- they're projecting and acting out much deeper hurts. The 150 or so attendees of the convention I went to weren't all monsters by any stretch of the imagination. But I daresay most of them weren't very happy people either.