On December 14, I sat in a firehouse surrounded by large group of concerned parents all wanting to know where our missing children were. I didn't know any of them. I didn't know that I would form a bond with this group of strangers that would forever connect us through tragedy.
I heard whispers in the aisles of the supermarket and the pediatrician's waiting room. "Take a music class, browse around the bookstore or check out the baby gym." Apparently, there was an entire underground mom scene. I had no idea. They don't tell you at your 20-week ultrasound.
My friend reframed my day. Not by telling me to ignore what had happened, or to "give myself a break" or to "move on." Instead, she put that day in a timeline of a thousand other days, some full of gardening and caring for our neighbors and others full of impatience and crap.
You miss the camaraderie you shared with the other parent. You now find yourself wondering if the relationship that felt so real was actually just one born out of convenience. Should you move on and let your mom-friendship continue to fray, or should you try to reclaim the relationship?
I am here to tell you that you don't need mom friends. Because the last thing you want to do after spending the whole day changing your baby's diapers is spend the whole night listening to your friend complain about changing her baby's diapers.
During the last two years, I have had the privilege of making many new military mom friends. I have been so inspired by these incredible women -- their flexibility, their bravery, their loyalty, their commitment and their toughness.
I choose female friends the way other people choose tennis partners. You know, always play with someone better than you are. To improve your game. I instinctively home in on women who appear smarter, more accomplished and more together than me.