My mother keeps prodding me to come out of the closet. She wants me to accept my rightful place in the world as a gay woman. I am probably the only straight woman in America whose mother keeps a watch for latent homosexual urges.
Whenever one of my mother's sentences begins with "I swear," I take cover and get ready for the diatribe. If I'm in the kitchen, I stop chopping. If I'm in the car, I put my iPhone on speaker. It's just too good to miss.