How about we just watch the movie? Park the popcorn. Ditch the Milk Duds. Turn off your cell phone. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show. You will find when you exit the theater there will be no popcorn crumbs all over the front of you, nor empty candy boxes and soda cups surrounding where you sat.
Even though I like children, there are a lot of places I would rather not see them. These places include bars, walking at a glacial pace on a crowded Upper East Side sidewalk, in double strollers when I am trying to get on or off the 6 train, and at graphic, R-rated movies about phone sex.