When I did manage to finally light the match, it was because of a simple realization: Eventually everything must come to an end. It wasn't easy to admit that something I put a lot of myself into was over, but at least I could stop spending time and energy trying to resuscitate it.
Many Sanford residents are frustrated, angry and deeply saddened over the verdict, and these emotions are connected to long-festering issues in the community. Such feelings cannot be swept aside. There must be room for people to express their views and for others to hear and feel them.
New York is a hard place to say no to. There's an undeniable energy percolating the air, a vibrant heartbeat pulsing the streets. Sure space may be limited and at a premium, but the backyard is the world's greatest playground.
It's important to honor and acknowledge your past, to tease lessons from the stories that make you, you. But at some point the past becomes a crutch, something to fall back on when you're uncomfortable in the present or fearful of the future.
Perhaps, like in a good chess game, you'll have the insight to see two or three moves ahead. But if not, don't sweat it. Just show up and take the right next step without delay. That will help keep the doubts and the internal wrestling to a minimum.
Most of us take a reactive approach to media, entertainment and art. We turn to these for many reasons, but not often to help us improve our lives in a proactive way. Yet there's a growing body of research that shows it has the power to do just that.
After more than 25 years of living in Montclair, NJ, the urban/suburban community due west of New York City where we raised our two kids, my husband Mike and I are tapped out. We are in our mid-50s and we are ready to find a smaller home in a more temperate climate.
By learning to control our thoughts, we slowly, ever so slowly learn to control our emotions -- without sacrificing our capacity to feel. As we control our emotions, we ever so slowly alter our perceptions.
When we feel pain, emotional or otherwise, we want to resist it. In some ways it feels right to resist what hurts, what scares us, what we don't want. But pain is not the cause of the problem; it's the effect of a deeper problem.
When you live in forward motion, life changes. You find yourself more in sync with the world around you. All of a sudden people and opportunities appear, as if out of nowhere, to help you on your way. You'll never look at pain the same way again.