Identify your contribution to the conflict. By accepting your part and then taking responsibility, you give yourself the best chance possible for getting out of conflict.
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See yourself doing well. Separate that from what the other person has done or will do. Picture success as it relates to you, your body language, volume, tone and words.
If the the person your butting heads with is feeling safe, they are less likely to lose it.
Mousavi was always more open to dialogue with the West. If president, his discourse could now include the nuclear program with much less fear of attack.
Like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, North Korea is a little unbalanced but relentless. The first thing to know about their apparently successful nuclear test is this: don't panic.
History is not on North Korea's side, and ensnaring the hermit state in negotiations establishes some possibility of reining in its behaviors.
When you have discomfort, treat it as a learning opportunity. The less you go into denial and accept discomfort as expected, the easier it will be to relax.
Remember that another person has a positive intention.
It matters little in the big scheme of things how many new troops President Obama announces. If there is no real change in policy, new troops won't accomplish anything.
When you are surprised by your own flash of anger, you may not be fully conscious of your own desires. You may be missing the underlying needs that your own anger is revealing to you.
A part of who we are is what we believe. This explains why we tend to assess other people's likeability and credibility based on their positions.
If you are already scratching your head about the other person before you've even engaged with them, then you are missing something.
As a mediator, I remember the power of asking the parties questions they would not ask each other. Anything a mediator can do, individuals can do on their own. Observe with fresh eyes.
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