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Norb Vonnegut

Honey and the Goodfellas

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 07.28.2013 | Comedy
Norb Vonnegut

When the Smiths arrived that evening, Honey gave John's Gucci loafers a good sniff. He passed her test, and she went on her way without so much as a snarl. Her indifference came as something of a relief. I believe dogs possess a sixth sense about people.

The Worst Credit Card Story of All Time

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 03.26.2013 | Books
Norb Vonnegut

"I'm sitting here with your mother, my clients, and a restaurant bill I can't pay. And you know why? I'm maxed out on my credit card all because the rental company charged me for the BMW you never returned."

Too Big to Jail

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Uncle Sam is wrestling how to govern organizations vital to our nation's economic welfare. I'd rather see legislators focus on leverage and preventive cures than after-the-fact remedies like "amending loans."

The $21.2 Billion Halloween Mask

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

The season makes me wonder: What does it take to become a Halloween mask?

Are You Serious, UBS?

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

UBS, your struggles with the IRS are beginning to get in the way of business. If you're not lucky, vultures from other financial companies will soon be plucking at your market share like roadkill.

Modern Portfoolio Theory II

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

What can investors do when their hedge funds implode? The Galleon scandal puts a fine point on this question.

CEO Overboard

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Presumably, there was a glory to betting big and being right. The highs from winning more than trumped considerations of fair play. Of course, there was one problem. They got caught.

Modern Portfoolio Theory

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Money managers are always trying to get an edge. But how many have crossed the line with inside information?

More Talking Points for Clients and Investment Advisers

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

I invest my clients' portfolios by focusing on their cash needs first: renovations to a house, capital calls from other investments, and tuition for example. These discussions are tangible.

Straight Talk for Clients and Investment Advisers

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Financial advisers: we serve clients best when everybody is on the same page. I would resist the temptation "to reinvent yourself" just to make the quick sale and bag a few extra bucks.

The World According to Grove

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

If I introduce myself as a "stockbroker" at a cocktail party, people look at their watches and say, "I'm late for a drive-through root canal."

Madoff: 150 Years Are Just the Start

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

If the system is broken, can Madoff victims expect just solutions? And since when do umpires share in the spoils of victory?

The Madoff Twelve

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Home
Norb Vonnegut

Ira Sorkin, defense attorney for Bernard Madoff, requested his client's sentence be limited to twelve years. He cited Madoff's age and thirteen-year l...

Madoff: The Three Amigos

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

What do Bernie Madoff, Ahmed Ghailani, and a captured Somali pirate have in common? They're all locked in the same New York prison.

Is the SEC Awake?

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

The Securities and Exchange Commission barred Bernard Madoff from the securities business. We all feel safer now? Yeah, right.

What Would Grove Do?

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Grove manages about $2 billion in total assets for wealthy families. He's seen it all inside his investment bank. He'll be joining Acrimoney for a new guest series: What Would Grove Do?

Madoff Leftovers

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Madoff victims don't need a cook. They need Solomon to sort through these complicated issues of law and fairness.

WMD: Weapons of Money Destruction

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Get-rich-quick schemes are the new WMD.

Bandaged Futures?

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

Supposedly "managed futures" herald the dawn of an enlightened age for investments but what the heck are they and why are corn and interest rates being uttered in the same breath?

One Billion and Broke

Norb Vonnegut | Posted 05.25.2011 | Business
Norb Vonnegut

If this were Hollywood, the courtroom would be jammed. Reporters everywhere. Rowdy audience. Distinguished lawyers snarling and prepping to rip each o...