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Onion News Network

WATCH: 'Today' Crew Meets The Onion News Team

Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Life met its satirical counterpart on Thursday when the famed anchors of the Onion News Network's "Today Now!" stopped by to give the crew from the "T...

Fake FDA Official: 'Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable'

Posted 05.25.2011 | Home

In this short clip from the new Onion News Network show on IFC, (fake) Deputy FDA Commissioner Steve Hoyer instructs Americans to "just eat a goddamn ...

WATCH: 'Morbid Curiosity' May Skew 2012 Presidential Election

The Huffington Post | Ross Luippold | Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Americans' fatigue of Sarah Palin has finally reached reached its logical conclusion. According to Onion News Network, many citizens claim that they w...

ONN: Kim Jon-Il Ends Nuclear Program In Exchange For Lead 'Batman' Role

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Kim Jong-Il traded nukes for a role in "Batman"? Well not exactly, but you'll soon be seeing a lot more ridiculous stories like that one on your telev...

WATCH: Beatles Fans Anticipate Paul McCartney's Funeral

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

"Paul Is Dead" may have been an urban legend in the late sixties, but today the inevitable death of Sir Paul McCartney is cause for pre-mourning celeb...

'The Onion,' 'Ben Stiller,' 'Larry Sanders': IFC The New Home For Comedy Devotees

The Huffington Post | Ross Luippold | Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Comedy fans have quite a bit to look forward to in 2011, thanks to some new (and old) television series that viewers can expect to see early next year...

The Onion: Obama Introduces High-Speed Bus Plan (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

The Onion News Network has taken aim at federal budget cuts in their report of President Obama's plan to replace a high-powered, lightning quick rail ...

The Onion: Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

In another hilariously accurate report from The Onion News Network, we learn of a missing college girl that matches the description of every sorority ...

Biden Invites Nation's Ladies To Discuss Taxes At Rustic Tahoe Chalet (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Vice President Joe Biden has an amazing weekend planned, as long as the nation's (single) ladies are game: a secluded retreat at a rustic lodge in Lak...

The Onion: Jennifer Aniston Adopts 33-Year-Old African Man (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

After gracing the cover of tabloid after tabloid all these years, it's about time Jennifer Aniston adopted SOMETHING from Africa. It's practically a r...

Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Everyday, New York's Bravest face the difficult tasks of saving lives, putting out fires, and looking amazing while wearing suspenders with no shirt. ...

The Onion: Drew Barrymore's Tell-All Coloring Book Hits Shelves (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Books

With a new celebrity tell-all book coming out practically every week, it's frighteningly not too hard to imagine the next of them being in the form of...

Congressman Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last Night (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

The State of the Union speech is kind of like when your boss gives a speech at the office holiday party, only televised. And like every office holida...

Suzanne Sena, Former Fox News Anchor, Now On Onion News Network (VIDEO)

Huffington Post | Danny Shea | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Suzanne Sena, who anchored primetime and late-night breaking news on Fox News from 2006-2008, has found a new home: the Onion News Network (h/t TVNews...

Bobbie Batista, Former CNN Anchor, Gets In On The Joke At Onion News Network

New York Times | TIM ARANGO | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Nearly eight years after leaving CNN, the network that made her famous, Ms. Battista has resurfaced in the news game as an anchor for Onion News Netwo...

Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?

Huffington Post | Alex Leo | Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

It's a question we've been asking for a long time: Are reality shows making the average skank feel bad about her level of trashiness? With networks co...