Nicole was 10 years old, openly attending school as a transgender girl, and Valentine's Day was right around the corner. One evening Nicole came home, and while we were preparing dinner, she announced that there was going to be a father-daughter dance at the town recreation building.

I'm sure you can imagine how my prejudices were perpetuated once we realized our child was transgender. I was certain that all Republicans would deny my child his rights, that religious friends would shun us and that seniors would never be able to understand. Tsk, tsk.

For most people, getting your driver's license in the mail is a non-event. But for Sam, we were anxious, for a reason 99 percent of the population would never consider. For Sam (and therefore for me, because I love him so much), we were eager to see if the gender marker actually read "M."

"When did you know for sure?" Everyone we meet wants to know the answer to that question when they hear we have a transgender child, most because they are genuinely interested in a subject that is still a mystery for so many.

When your child is transgender, do you err on the side of full disclosure, thereby risking rejection, or do you proceed without exposing your child's biology, because it really shouldn't matter, right? Such was the case when Sam went to camp for the first time as a boy.

Sam was 10 years old, and deep down we knew what we were dealing with; we just hadn't said it out loud that often, and when we did, it was only between my husband and me. That was the same year Oprah aired her first show on transgender children.

Society had graciously given us the "tomboy" label to justify our child's behavior, which we gladly used as a wishful excuse. But all too soon it became hard to ignore the earnest pleas for the McDonald's Happy Meal that included the boy's toy, or the innocent requests to wear male clothes.

My transgender daughter Nicole is my mentor. It's tough to put into words what a profound impact this small person has had in changing my core values, but since the young age of 5, she has unknowingly encouraged me to open my eyes and heart to new ideas.

As everyone was getting settled into their separate conversations, I turned to Monica and asked about her kids, a daughter and a son. And that's when she told me her 18-year-old daughter was now her son, Dominic.