When you watched how different your children were from others, you kept a nonjudgmental, open mind. In the absence of role models, you managed to let me be gay without knowing what that might mean, going against a homophobic stream so ingrained in the Filipino machista system.
Complete anonymity is getting in the way of what my blog posts are all about: reaching out to people and being damn proud of my kid. I'd like the opportunity to speak to more parents about celebrating our LGBT kids and meet more of our fabulous LGBT youth. So I've arrived at a compromise.
When my dad left to pick up some dinner, my mom, whom I've been out to for almost two years, said, "Your father saw your Facebook status when I left my Facebook up. The cat's out of the bag." You see, I hadn't told him.
As our children grow, we look around and wonder, "Is this the right place for us to be? Is this where we want our children to grow up? What is the environment we've chosen teaching them?" These questions were heightened after our oldest son started identifying as gay at a young age.
There was something about that look in my mother's eyes, in that moment. It took all my arrogance to protect myself from it, to seek refuge from the shocked stare, the battle in her face between heartbreak and fury. She was squeezing tightly to the silver watchband.
I didn't want anybody making fun of my son dressed up as a girl. I wanted to protect myself, too. If a boy wore a girl's costume, it meant he was going to be gay. And according to some, a boy was gay because his mother was overbearing. Overbearing mother meant bad mother.
I will always remember Aug. 16, 2011, because it's a day that truly changed my life. It was the day I wrote up a cute little story about my oldest son and his crush on Glee's Blaine and naïvely posted it to a blog.
My coming out was so anti-climatic, when I think about it. I don't know what I expected. It was huge to me, but it wasn't to you. It didn't matter. Your look, your tone, your manner -- nothing changed. Nothing was different.
I woke up yesterday morning as if it were any other day. But just seconds into a beautiful late-June morning, my shocked husband gave me the most appalling news. "Your biological mother made a nasty comment about our book," he said.