If you desperately want a man, get a dog first. You own him, snip him and put him on a leash and drag him around. The only crap in the relationship is his and you can just toss that in the trash.
As my mentor used to say to me when I would give voice to my negative thinking: Russell, if you're going to indulge in a fantasy, why would you choose to lose in it? After all, it's your fantasy!