My daughter's entire leg and foot is covered in poop, there's poop up her back, my arm is covered in poop and my middle finger has a giant poop-nugget on it, and I realize that if I turn it around and point it at myself, that pretty much sums up my current situation.
I sip my latte and stifle a chuckle as I take in my surroundings at Ddoong Cafe in the Ssamzigil shopping complex in central Seoul. Colorful mini plungers hang delicately from a tree in the corner and old-fashioned squat toilets are placed tastefully throughout the shop.
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It's been about a month since I moved to L.A. As a filmmaker, I finally caved and weathered the migration, leaving behind my family, friends, and everything that's remotely familiar, for a chance at fully realizing a dream.
How will all of that green food and drink fare against your digestive system? Will it come out victorious, making your poop look like something left behind by a leprechaun? Or will your digestive system literally metabolize the crap out of it?
If you're meeting up with friends, bring your green juice "dinner." Not only will it give you a chance to talk about your juice-cleanse (see above), it will remind others that they are not as good as you. Lead by example!