If you're meeting up with friends, bring your green juice "dinner." Not only will it give you a chance to talk about your juice-cleanse (see above), it will remind others that they are not as good as you. Lead by example!
I'm not talking about the normal diaper stuff. I'm talking about bodily discharge in motion, vaguely cannibalistic activities, and microscopic familiarity with our kiddies' anatomies. I'm talking about things that should probably not be memorialized in writing.