I'm coming to you live, people, from the home of my friends Sara and Jared, for my first and last ever Project Runway finale live-blog.

I wonder, do the camera people just sit the designers down and go, "Say something cliche and obvious. OK, good. Now, Irina, shit all over someone's design."

If a contestant is combative, mean or obnoxious, they will not win. The only exception to this rule is the asshole with a powerful mitigating factor, like Jeffrey Sebelia, who was a recovering addict and had an adorable son.

Over in the women's compound, Irina says the competition is "getting stiffer," which is technically accurate but sounds dirty. Gordana was shocked to find herself in the bottom three last week, but is so deadpan, her shock reads as boredom.

The designers arrive at their secret destination: the LA Times! I'm actually kind of amazed that employees weren't setting things on fire in the background during this scene--isn't it like Lord of the Flies over there now?

This week, Heidi presents the designer challenge: create a form-fitting, "pregnancy-chic" outfit. As opposed to, I guess, something that would make her look dumpy and whale-sized. In case anyone was confused.