Family gatherings over the holidays usually involve heightened emotions of all kinds. Such events might begin with an atmosphere of joy, connection, love and caring but they don't always end on the same note.
Chances are you've been there before. Across from a guy in a suit that costs more than you're unemployed tush can hope to make in a month, or on the very distant end of an I'm-not-interested text message. It's hideous, unfriendly and usually has bad table manners. It's called rejection.
I cordially invite you to join me in the world of rejects, losers and castoffs. I proudly wear my badge as one of the few, the proud, the determined who wears rejection on my sleeve as a badge of honor, because it is.
When we think of unhealthy habits, items such as cigarette smoking, midnight snacking or a sedentary lifestyle are often the first that come to mind. Yet, many of our unhealthiest habits are not behavioral but psychological in nature.
Self-affirmation exercises are an effective way to boost our self-esteem and by doing so, increase our emotional resilience and become better protected against the various psychological injuries we encounter in daily life.
Few people are aware of how dangerous it is to "inhale" two packs a day of emotional isolation. Because loneliness is viewed merely as an unfortunate circumstance and not as the silent killer it is, it rarely triggers a sense of urgency in the person who suffers from it.
Relationships and people require intimacy in order to thrive. When we make the effort to give attention to bringing the conditions into our relationship that encourage and promote intimacy, it's not only our relationships that benefit but our lives in general.
I sat in the driver's seat and I saw a note on the wheel. I recognized Michael's handwriting: "Dad, you always say I never asked you for anything but you gave me a lot. Love, Michael." What is the opposite of rejection? Acceptance.
Rejections are the most common psychological injury we encounter in daily life. The one thing all rejections have in common is -- they hurt! So, what exactly happens in our brains that makes rejections so painful?
While it's obvious to us that physical injuries can get worse if left untreated, that cuts can become infected, that colds can turn into pneumonia, we have no such awareness when it comes to psychological injuries.
For some children, divorce calls into question the very nature of parental love. The child may think to himself, "If my parents can decide they don't love each other anymore, maybe they can stop loving me."
If I could offer my best tips for how to realize your dream (or anything for that matter) -- whether it is writing your memoir, shedding those 20 pounds, or living in a clutter-free home -- it would be these.
Next time you get a college rejection letter in the mail, or a part in a school play as a background character instead of a lead, or the opposite summer internship from the one that you desired, consider how a different path may benefit you.
Do you sometimes find that you sabotage yourself in your work or your relationships? Have you wondered why you would do that? Here are some of the beliefs that might trigger your fears or your resistance to taking loving action in your own behalf.
It takes courage to know who we are and what we stand for. It takes courage to act from the core of our own being -- our core essence. Learning how to deal effectively with rejection strengthens our sense of self and builds our resilience when confronting life's challenges.