s relapse going to be part of your story? Maybe. But if you open yourself up to the possibility that there might be a way to prevent relapse from becoming a part of your recovery, you may find yourself not only clean and sober, but immersed in a life worth staying clean and sober for.

We are not doing our loved ones a service by living in fear of their threats, trying to be best buds, believing this time will be different or too lazy to do anything about their actions.

So, are all addictions created equal? In my opinion; yes, if one continues down the path of destruction not only toward themselves but the family and friends around them.

New Year's resolutions rarely work. The adrenaline rush from the moment of the commitment is short-lived. So how can one make a comfortable, doable resolution? Reach for goals and objectives in a committed, honest manner through preparation and not expectation.

It is sad, scary, disappointing and unnerving to come to the realization that you just don't like some people that you have been told all your life to love. However, you can love them and accept them, but realize their limitations and don't set yourself up for anything to change.

Women who are married with children are supposed to be the family's pillar of strength -- the matriarch. There seems to be more judgment toward a wife and mother who is drinking and can't take care of her family, especially her children.

Falling short of expectations or the feeling that the alcoholic/addict is unable to fulfill what is expected can open the floodgates to relapse.

In working for years with both the family and their loved ones' substance abuse issues, I have concluded that even though there are a myriad of reasons for relapse, there are four basic ones that can become an easy switch to flip.

The alcoholic / addict knows when they are on the road to self sabotage. They know that their behavior will result in substantial and probable irreparable damage.

I prefer to use the term "set back" when I get sucked back into the Black Hole. Because it's certainly not the end of recovery. From depression or any addiction. A relapse merely gives you a new starting place.