The children are drawn towards a need -- a void they want filled -- as parents do their best to keep their lives afloat. Just because a way of life or method worked in the past, one doesn't necessarily keep working in that same manner.
Having to share your partner with another woman because he had a child with her can be difficult enough, but when that woman didn't seem to get the memo that they've divorced, it can send your internal threat meter into the red zone.
If you talk to a divorced, remarried woman long enough, guaranteed you will hear about the new stepmother or the old wife. It seems to come with the territory. Tell someone who you are a stepmother and you will be asked how you get along with the ex within the first hour.
It is that dreaded time of year for stepmothers everywhere -- Mother's Day. It is reasonable that children spend Mother's Day with their mother. Meanwhile, stepmothers are left to justify why they do not care about Mother's Day.
While marital and couples therapists tell us how to save our marriages, sociology, anthropology, and human behavioral ecology suggest that it isn't so much married couples as Marriage itself that's in crisis.