People who reject and abandon themselves often feel jealous. People who love and value themselves do not feel jealous. They are not threatened by others, because they know their own intrinsic worth.

I hear it over and over: "Are there any available men?" "Why are all the women I attract unavailable?" There are two issues that often contribute to this situation.

"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts." Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.

Valuing yourself can start by lovingly seeing the innocent child within you -- your essence. This is your true self, and may have been covered over by the fears and false beliefs of your ego-wounded self that you created as you grew up, to try to get love and avoid pain.

The more you learn to love and value your unique essence, the less you will find yourself comparing yourself to others. There is only one you. You are incomparable!

All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.

Fear of rejection is a big issue for many people -- and it used to be for me, too. I used to be so worried about how others felt about me that I was often anxious in my interactions with them -- always trying to say and do the "right" thing so they would like me or at least think well of me.

Not experiencing loving connection as a child can lead to feeling a deep yearning in adulthood. Unfortunately, trying to get this connection from others, rather than learning to connect with ourselves and others, can lead to many personal and relationship problems.

Our feelings are always informational -- a profound source of inner guidance. I encourage you to value your feelings and listen to what they are telling you, rather than ignoring and avoiding them.

Inner emptiness does not come from a lack of something external -- not even a lack of being loved by someone else. It comes from a lack of one thing only: a lack of awareness of the love that is the energy we live in.

Loneliness goes away when we connect with each other from our hearts. Disconnection occurs anytime one partner closes his or her heart to protect or control.

Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.

My life changed when I finally understood how to access the unconditional love that is always available to all of us. What I came to understand is that love, like the air we breathe, enters our heart by invitation only.

Imagine what a wonderful world we would have if each person took responsibility for his or her own feelings and needs. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we can then share our love with others.

While no one deliberately seeks out someone who is closed, negative and needy, if this is you, this is what you will attract into your life. If you want a loving relationship, then you need to do the work of learning how to take emotional responsibility

It is unrealistic to expect compassion from others when we are abandoning ourselves. If you want to experience the power of being "grokked" by others, you first need to "grok" yourself!

Rather than judge ourselves for blaming -- which most of us do at times -- why not look at what the blaming is covering up and learn to lovingly manage the feelings that we are covering up and avoiding with blaming?

A patient of mine realized that if he wanted to attract a loving and caring woman who took responsibility for herself, he would have to learn to be loving and caring toward himself.

Why do we blame ourselves and others? What is the payoff?

Frequently, when I start to work with a new client, they believe that loving their self is selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth.

As adults, our own well-being is our personal responsibility. Do you abandon yourself, making others responsible for you, and then feel abandoned by others when they leave you or don't take responsibility for you?