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Self Abandonment

5 Ways We Push Away Relationships (And What To Do About It)

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.16.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Is your primary intent in being in a relationship to get love, or is it to share your love with your beloved? If it's to get love -- due to your own self-abandonment -- then your challenge in attracting your beloved is to learn to love yourself and share your love.

Are You as Loving to Yourself as You Are to Your Dog?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 01.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

David sat in front of me at one of my Inner Bonding five-day intensive retreats. A successful businessman with a wife and two grown children, David be...

Beyond Anxiety

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.23.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Being present and mindful means that we need to learn to lovingly and compassionately manage our painful feelings rather than avoid them. When you learn to have compassion for your feelings, then you can stay present in your body and learn about what your feelings are telling you.

Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.29.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Cheating is quite common and the reasons are multiple. Rather than reviewing the many reasons people cheat, I'm going to focus on one of the main one -- self-abandonment.

8 Keys to Creating a Loving, Joyful Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you believe that if you have to work on a relationship, it's not the right relationship for you? Having worked with couples for 45 years, I can tell you without a doubt that this is NOT true!

The Powerful Key to Creating a Loving Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.24.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Instead of rejecting and abandoning themselves by avoiding responsibility for their own feelings with various addictions, loving people take full responsibility for their own pain and joy so that they are not needy of someone doing this for them.

Are You Jealous? Is Your Partner Jealous?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.10.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

People who reject and abandon themselves often feel jealous. People who love and value themselves do not feel jealous. They are not threatened by others, because they know their own intrinsic worth.

Why You Keep Attracting Unavailable People

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I hear it over and over: "Are there any available men?" "Why are all the women I attract unavailable?" There are two issues that often contribute to this situation.

10 Signs You're In Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.14.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts." Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.

Are You Love Addicted?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Valuing yourself can start by lovingly seeing the innocent child within you -- your essence. This is your true self, and may have been covered over by the fears and false beliefs of your ego-wounded self that you created as you grew up, to try to get love and avoid pain.

Do You Compare Yourself to Others?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.12.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The more you learn to love and value your unique essence, the less you will find yourself comparing yourself to others. There is only one you. You are incomparable!

Is Your Relationship System Working Well?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.

4 Ways You Might Be Rejecting Yourself

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.06.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Fear of rejection is a big issue for many people -- and it used to be for me, too. I used to be so worried about how others felt about me that I was often anxious in my interactions with them -- always trying to say and do the "right" thing so they would like me or at least think well of me.

7 Reasons Why Connection With Self and Others Is So Important

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 03.30.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Not experiencing loving connection as a child can lead to feeling a deep yearning in adulthood. Unfortunately, trying to get this connection from others, rather than learning to connect with ourselves and others, can lead to many personal and relationship problems.

5 Important Things Your Gut Is Telling You

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 03.18.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Our feelings are always informational -- a profound source of inner guidance. I encourage you to value your feelings and listen to what they are telling you, rather than ignoring and avoiding them.

Feeling Empty Inside? How To Fill Up

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 01.30.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Inner emptiness does not come from a lack of something external -- not even a lack of being loved by someone else. It comes from a lack of one thing only: a lack of awareness of the love that is the energy we live in.

Relationship Advice: Connect More, Be Lonely Less

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.04.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Loneliness goes away when we connect with each other from our hearts. Disconnection occurs anytime one partner closes his or her heart to protect or control.

18 Relationship Red Flags

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.19.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.

Searching for Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.05.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

My life changed when I finally understood how to access the unconditional love that is always available to all of us. What I came to understand is that love, like the air we breathe, enters our heart by invitation only.

'If I Love Myself, Won't I Be Selfish?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.29.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Imagine what a wonderful world we would have if each person took responsibility for his or her own feelings and needs. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we can then share our love with others.

Relationships: Why You Attract Who You Attract

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.15.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

While no one deliberately seeks out someone who is closed, negative and needy, if this is you, this is what you will attract into your life. If you want a loving relationship, then you need to do the work of learning how to take emotional responsibility

The Power of Being 'Grokked'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

It is unrealistic to expect compassion from others when we are abandoning ourselves. If you want to experience the power of being "grokked" by others, you first need to "grok" yourself!

Why Blaming Feels Good

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.16.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Rather than judge ourselves for blaming -- which most of us do at times -- why not look at what the blaming is covering up and learn to lovingly manage the feelings that we are covering up and avoiding with blaming?

'Why Are My Partners Always Needy?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

A patient of mine realized that if he wanted to attract a loving and caring woman who took responsibility for herself, he would have to learn to be loving and caring toward himself.

Why Do You Blame?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Why do we blame ourselves and others? What is the payoff?