Self Criticism

There is nothing like a vacation. The to-do lists go away, the nagging "should" voices quiet, and time seems to slow down.

I have found that one of the most self-binding and defeating habits that many of us have is the tendency to compare ourselves to others: comparing our physical appearance, material possessions, personal life, romantic relationships and career.

If you have a natural bent toward criticism, your favorite target is most likely your own self! If you are your own worst critic, then what you dish out to the rest of us probably doesn't even register as criticism.

The number-one reason people give for why they aren't more self-compassionate is the fear that they will be too easy on themselves. But is self-criticism is really the great motivator it's cracked up to be? No.

How do we feel good about ourselves without needing to feel better than others and thus falling into the narcissism/self-loathing trap? One answer is to develop self-compassion.

Everyone can stand up and put down the voice that puts them down. Here are five steps for answering the voice within you that has made you feel so bad.

A steady dose of self-compassion has been proven to work like antidepressants without the negative side effects. It decreases depression and anxiety, improves concentration and perspective.

What makes smart girls more vulnerable and less confident when they should be the most confident kids in the room?

The only thing you need do is find security within yourself -- to reach the point where what you think of yourself becomes more important than any external opinion.

We tend to think that criticisms come from other people. But in truth, all things that we perceive as criticisms originate internally, born from our constructed self-image -- how we like to think of ourselves and how we want others to see us.

Pursuing perfection can lead to perfection paralysis. There will always be one more iteration, one more change that will help move things along. But moving things along is motion, not perfection.

I was surprised to read the other day that in some cultures if you are asked 'how are you?' the answer never begins with the pronoun 'I' but rather with a 'we' as in 'we are fine or not fine'.

Unrelenting self-criticism often goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety, and it may even predict depression. In a study of 107 patients in the latest issue of Comprehensive Psychiatry, David M. Dunkley at Jewish General Hospital in Montreal and colleagues found that those who were most self-critical were the most likely to be depressed and have difficulties in relationships four years later, even if they weren't depressed to begin with.

The economic crisis is wreaking havoc on some peoples' self-confidence and raising the voice of their inner critic.

Dear Maddisen, I am highly self critical, self judgmental, and even cruel to myself with my thoughts and my mental talk.

The more you demean yourself for having a 'food mistake' the more you fuel having a binge. One binge fuels the next and all of a sudden you can't fit in your Inauguration dress.