Eventually, it all gets done, but it's that worrying of having pending issues to close out, which can sometimes lead to just not knowing how to get started. Therefore, let's shift our focus on what we can control.
We've created a divorce culture equally obsessed with "positive thinking" and "neat solutions." Whether it's well-meaning friends and family or the divorce blogs, the conversation is the same: "Rah-rah" motivational stories and self-help tools for making yourself happy again.
Despite my intention to give up self-help books, I know that it's unrealistic. It's unlikely that I'll ever feel quite good enough to relax fully into being me. It's in my nature to want to try harder, do better, be better.
"The people who inspire me most are those who are willing to see the world from a loving perspective. People who perceive obstacles as opportunities and problems as spiritual assignments. People who choose love."
No, don't worry, this isn't a dating advertisement. But if you are single and no longer in your 20s, fear not! Though it may be hard for some to believe, author Patricia Ryan Lampl went on 9,000 blind dates.
William C. Moyers, the son of Bill Moyers, is known for his 2006 bestseller, Broken, which describes his near-fatal addiction to alcohol and other drugs. In his new book, Now What?, Moyers uses his recovery experiences to help addicts and their loved ones.
Augusten Burroughs has come out with a real self-help book, starting with the premise that self-help will only make you worse off. And damned if he doesn't deliver the most sensible self help book you're likely to stumble upon.
Are you looking to be a happier, more productive, more successful person? Are you in the market for self-help? Then the better advice is stop putting so much effort into finding your "authentic" self. Learn to embrace the self as flexible.
Real change takes more than discovering someone's very good argument about what happiness means. The truth is, we each have to figure it out for ourselves, and it would be so awesome if publishers would help.