I know too many women who are menopausal, suffering with hot flashes and have reached adulthood with sex education under their belts, but without a firm grasp on their our own gynecological and hormone health.
To shed anxiety-driven notions about talking to children about sex, we adults need simply to identify and revisit the maladaptive associations we absorbed early in life and use our "we're all grown up now" good sense and perspective to whack them apart.
When we deliberately or inadvertently support our children's use of slang, it's as if we tell them: Yes, there is something gross or silly or ugly about that body part. Don't ever call it by its real name.
We all have our list of those words. Not the banned-by-the-FCC ones -- I figure all parents agree that those should probably not be part of a 3-year-old's vocabulary. But words that are loaded, words that are hurtful, words that feel personal.
They're going to hear about orgasms but won't have any idea that when they're mature enough to handle the responsibilities, an orgasm is a magical feeling you can share with someone you love on a Hawaiian shore just as the sun sets. Or even in the bathroom with someone you just met at Starbucks.
If teens are ready to have oral (or any other) sex, then we, as a society, need to do our utmost to help them recognize that "being ready" means more than just understanding the mechanics or being afraid of STDs.
Christine J. Gardner convincingly argues that the abstinence movement works against the most profound Christian values of selflessness and sacrifice and instead adopts rock concert style techniques of pop culture as a tool to get people to turn against that pop culture.
As a rabbi, I find the reluctance to talk clearly about sex rather odd. In Talmudic tradition, human sexual behavior is discussed with the same unflinching analysis as matters of commerce. It's part of life.
As a teenager, I chose to become a mom. In November, I chose, with the same commitment, to march with other women to support the motion to decriminalize abortion. I want women to be able to seek help openly and without shame. The hypocrisy is killing us.