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Sheryl Paul

Love Is Not the Absence of Fear

Sheryl Paul | Posted 05.19.2014 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

When we love another deeply, fear will rear its head. Designed to protect the vulnerable heart, fear is the sentry who guards the sacred entrances.

Are You Too Close for Sex?

Sheryl Paul | Posted 03.31.2014 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

You can learn to love the one you're with and create a sex life and feeling of love based on closeness instead of distance and mystery. Despite what the popular culture says, it's entirely possible! And entirely wonderful.

How to Relieve Engagement Anxiety

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.23.2014 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Like any process of self-growth and healing, working with the habitual patterns that keep us mired in negative stuck places is a practice.

Grieve and Be Grateful: The Aftermath of the Colorado Floods

Sheryl Paul | Posted 11.27.2013 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

When the voice traipses through my brain that tries to invalidate or dismiss my loss, I shush it aside and continue to allow myself to cry as hard as I need to cry. This is my pain. This is my loss.

If It's Conditional, It's Not Love

Sheryl Paul | Posted 05.21.2014 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

Love is a grace we give one another. Love is sometimes effortful, but it's not based on someone else's effort. Love is what happens when we open our hearts and allow the love that naturally lives inside to flow forth.

When Love Is Longing

Sheryl Paul | Posted 10.10.2013 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

We're wired to equate love with longing, which means that the only time we feel in love and certain is when our partner isn't fully available. We chase. We long. And then we think we're in love.

Anxiety and Emptiness

Sheryl Paul | Posted 09.18.2013 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

So here you are on this threshold, where the anxiety has quieted and you're left with emptiness. If you stop moving and stop searching and find stillness, you'll touch into what wants to be known. You'll find clarity.

A Watertight Marriage

Sheryl Paul | Posted 08.06.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

There are no rules or paradigms other than the ones that the two of you create and that work for your marriage. But if you're worried about following temptation, I would suggest creating a watertight marriage, which means not putting yourself in tempting situations.

Engagement Anxiety: When Friendships Fall Apart

Sheryl Paul | Posted 07.07.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Weddings, like all transitions, are a weeding out process. At these breaking and renewal points where we're asked to shed what no longer serves us so that we can make room for the new identity and stage of life, we're given the opportunity to see ourselves and everyone we're close to under a microscopic lens.

Falling Out of Love

Sheryl Paul | Posted 06.02.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Perhaps it's not accurate to use the phrase "falling out of love" as the title of this post. It's more that we fall out of infatuation so that the work of learning about what it really means to be in love can begin.

The 5 Biggest Fears Couples Have Before Marriage

Sheryl Paul | Posted 05.27.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

If you take a look at the list of the top five marriage fears you'll see that they actually simmer down to one fear: the fear of loss.

The Truth About Sex After Marriage

Sheryl Paul | Posted 08.23.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Here's my definition of good sex: two loving people in a loving partnership showing up to express and receive their love through their bodies.

What No One Tells You About Married Life

Sheryl Paul | Posted 04.25.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

How would your marriage be different if you had been handed an honest, comprehensive guide on what to expect after the wedding?

Why Real Love Is Like A Bowl Of Oatmeal

Sheryl Paul | Posted 03.29.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Good love is like a bowl of oatmeal.

What No One Tells You About Your Wedding Day

Sheryl Paul | Posted 03.18.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

We may watch a relationship unfold over several years on a television series, but by the time the couple finally gets married, the conflicts are resolved and the show usually ends. And therein lies the false message.

Getting Engaged? Now Fear This

Sheryl Paul | Posted 02.10.2013 | Women
Sheryl Paul

Since we're not properly educated about love, romance, attraction, and marriage, we often carry a host of erroneous beliefs about the nature of attraction.

Saying Yes To Life: A Different Perspective On Personal Development

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.29.2013 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

The difficult feelings are our greatest teachers, the alchemists' chunks of coal that, when approached with consciousness, are transformed into gold.

The Thought You NEVER Want To Have Before Your Wedding

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.12.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

I asked if the sadness was past or present and he said "present." Then I asked, "Are there any thoughts that are creating this sadness?" To which he responded, "Just the same one; that I'm in not in love with my bride."

The Big Pre-Marriage Question You Shouldn't Be Scared Of

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.23.2014 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

The "Am I gay?" question points to two of the most challenging concepts for the anxious mind to accept, especially when you're on the verge of marriage: that love is a choice and that there are no guarantees or certainties regarding the outcome of this choice.

What We Learned About Love

Sheryl Paul | Posted 12.01.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

I used to be surprised by the number of clients who would share stories about the ways in which grade school peers (including siblings) would taunt, tease, and torture them, but now it's one of the first questions I ask when a client presents with the fear of intimacy.

Don't Want To Be A Nervous Wreck On Your Wedding Day? Read This

Sheryl Paul | Posted 11.20.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

I can tell you with a fair amount of certainty what it takes to be a blissful bride. But first I'm going to tell you what most women do that nearly ensures that they'll be a wreck at their wedding.

12 Ways To Know You've Found 'The One'

Sheryl Paul | Posted 11.10.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

That guy -- the perfect package, the one who's ambitious and emotionally articulate and gorgeous -- doesn't actually exist. And if he happens to embody all three of those qualities, I guarantee you that he has other "imperfections".

How To Know If You're 'Settling' For Your Mate

Sheryl Paul | Posted 10.21.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Because we're poorly educated about transitions in our culture, we mistake the fear for doubt and thus begins a scary domino effect of believing that we're in the wrong relationship. The message is: If you're doubting, you must be settling.

Does Having This Dream Mean Your Marriage Is Doomed?

Sheryl Paul | Posted 10.15.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Are you thinking that she's with the wrong guy, that if she were really in love with her fiancé then she wouldn't be having these dreams about her ex, that the dream is a message that she's unfulfilled sexually by her fiancé and a harbinger that her marriage is doomed to fail?

The Biggest Marriage Myth Debunked

Sheryl Paul | Posted 10.09.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

How long will it take before she understands that a stable, loving relationship is happily ever after, and that those qualities only occur when both partners commit to enduring the inevitable highs and lows of a longterm love?