Sports on The Huffington Post

Carrie Underwood Engaged To Hockey Player Mike Fisher

2009-12-21T11:30:45Z

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Carrie Underwood is engaged to Ottawa Senators hockey player Mike Fisher, her publicist said Monday. No wedding date has been set for the couple, who have been dating for about a year. "The couple couldn't be happier," said publicist Jessie Schmidt.

Fisher, 29, recorded his 300th career point for the Senators in their 4-1 win over the Minnesota Wild on Saturday. Fisher had an assist on Anton Volchenkov's goal in the first period.

Tommy Kelly PANTS OFF VIDEO: Pantsed Lineman EXPOSED

2009-12-20T20:28:57Z

Tommy Kelly, a lineman for the Oakland Raiders, became exposed when his pants came off today in a game against the Denver Broncos. With just under seven minutes remaining in the game, the Broncos were driving and just yards away from a touchdown that would have put them up by two scores. On second down, Denver tried to run the ball in but was unsuccessful. Also unsuccessful were Kelly's efforts to keep his pants on, as they somehow fell during the play, exposing much of his lower half.

Kelly is not the first player to show some skin this season. In November Devin Hester's butt was shown to a national television audience.

WATCH:

Get HuffPost Sports on Facebook and Twitter!

Chad Ochocinco's Chris Henry Tribute (VIDEO)

2009-12-20T20:05:33Z

The Bengals played the Chargers today in their first game since the death of wide receiver Chris Henry. Fellow Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco has publicly reacted to Henry's passing several times this week, first in an emotional interview and later on Ustream. Today Ochocinco, who is known for his elaborate taunts and touchdown celebrations, hauled in a 49-yard TD early in the second quarter to give his team the lead. When the play ended, Ochocinco dropped to a knee and looked at the sky. The catch was not enough to lift the Bengals to victory, however, as they lost to the Chargers on a late field goal.

WATCH:

Get HuffPost Sports on Facebook and Twitter!

Kari Henley: Tiger Woods' Christmas Carol: The Ghosts Of Past, Present And Future

2009-12-20T11:32:17Z

This weekend marks the arrival of the winter solstice - our longest night of the year, and clearly the infamous Tiger Woods is experiencing a major 'Dark Night of the Soul'.

As much as I am sick to death of hearing about this story - he is still a bright, well educated man who has unlimited potential to re-create his future. Charles Barkley said on CNN that Tiger needs to "talk to a famous person, who truly understands." I agree he needs role models for sure. But, who would they be?

I took my daughter to see the new Disney Christmas Carol movie yesterday. The animation was fantastic, and the archetype of Ebenezer Scrooge serves as a profound reminder of how many are trapped in a dark and hopeless place - dominated by money, power or greed. Scrooge had become a bitter man, and didn't know a way out. During the film, Tiger Woods popped into my head- what ghosts would come and visit him while he is in hiding; shaking in night shirt and cap?

Ghost of Christmas Past: Paul Newman.
Can you just see those baby blues still? All zipped up in his racing suit, imagine Newman floating in to Wood's yacht and gently whispering his famous quote, "What could be better than holding your hand out to those that are less fortunate than you are?" Newman maintained an enviable marriage to Joanne Woodward, kept his joy stick and testosterone funneled in racing cars, and through his giving nature - became one of the world's most important philanthropists.

The famous salad dressing began as a simple gift for friends at Christmas time, and that act of giving took on a life of its own. Today, the Newman's Own Foundation has given over $280 million to charities. In particular, the Hole in the Wall camps was the twinkle of Newman's eye, and he spent hours anonymously with the children.

Newman said, "Whenever I am in the dumps, I come up here, to camp, and it reaffirms everything that I think is really good and generous about this world. " The way to salvation is holding up all the Tiny Tim's who can reopen possibility.

Here is the ghost of Christmas Past himself:

Ghost of Christmas Present: David Letterman.
Get in front of the story baby! No one approves of sexual liaisons, but it does not have to dominate the news 24/7, unless there is mystery and intrigue in the mix. Take a tip from the man himself - this golf tournament was botched beyond belief, so get out of the sand trap and back on a new green - for everyone's sake. Letterman joked that Tiger should stop coming to him for advice, yet also offers a role model of how to get on with business, and the public will follow. Here's Letterman's ghost, with his buddy Tom Hanks, offering a few tips of humorous wisdom:

Ghost of Christmas Future: A young philanthropist; inspired by the Tiger Woods Foundation.
Let's face it; Tiger Woods earns a lot of money: $700 million per year from Nike endorsements alone. A lot of good can come from that money. Kids are out there waiting to be inspired, and the Ghost of Christmas present is a young man who was the winner of a contest sponsored by the Tiger Woods Foundation. At the end of this clip of an excited teenager opened up an iPod touch, and said, "because of a good thing I did, I was rewarded for it. But it would have been worth it even without a reward." Check it out:

There is room for so much more, and maybe Woods' retirement from golf can fuel even greater creative enthusiasm towards the various charitable endeavors already created in his name, like the Tiger Woods Learning Center in CA.

Even though the cold of winter is just beginning, after this weekend every day will gradually grow a little bit lighter. Isn't that comforting in so many ways? With that in mind, let's leave Tiger with his ghosts, and make it a point to turn away from stories that spark shame, humiliation and support a shameless celebration of infidelity. Let the ghosts of philanthropy, humor and possibility remind all of us what is important. You can make a difference by throwing open the shutters of what closes you off, being brave and helping to make a difference in someone's life.

"God bless us, everyone," Tiny Tim.

What say you, Huff Po readers? Any other ghosts who can offer sage advice in this modern day Christmas Carol? We always welcome comments and discussion, and have a happy holiday.

Snow Impacts Sports Schedules On East Coast

2009-12-20T04:36:34Z

Sporting events from NFL games to harness races were rescheduled Saturday as a winter storm swept across the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast, dumping more than a foot of snow in some areas.

In Philadelphia, the Eagles-49ers game on Sunday was pushed back to 4:15 p.m. from 1 p.m. after about 9 inches fell. The Bears-Ravens game in Baltimore also was pushed back to the late-afternoon slot.

Mark Axelrod: The Cash Bowl, or, Why There Will Never Be a College Football Playoff

2009-12-19T13:11:41Z

Every year about this time, like a bear coming out of hibernation, the pundits begin arguing about college football playoffs. And every year, one hears the same arguments except for the one that doesn't get much prime time: the cash argument. Once upon a time there could have been a football playoff. That once upon a time was back in 1940 when there were 4 major college bowl games and a minor one: the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl and the Sun Bowl. By 1950, the number of bowls had increased from 5 to 8 and by 1970 the number jumped to 11. By 1980, there were 15 bowls and a decade later we had 19. By 2000, the number leaped to 25 and this year there are a staggering 34! So, in a little under 60 years the number of bowls has ballooned almost seven fold and at this rate, we can expect that by 2010 there should be about 45 of them. Give or take a bowl.

Now we still have the same five bowls that we had in 1940, but they've been slightly altered. We now have the Rose Bowl (presented by Citi Corp which probably took a lot of screaming and shirt-ripping to keep the sanctity of Rose Bowl name intact), the FedEx Orange Bowl, the AT&T Cotton Bowl, the Allstate Sugar Bowl and the Brut Sun Bowl. There used to be a Tangerine Bowl and a Peach Bowl, but you'd be hard-pressed to find any tangerines or peaches since they've been replaced with credit cards and chickens. But along with those five major bowls we also have 29 other bowls and of those 34 bowls, all of them, but one, are sponsored bowls. In other words, the name of the sponsor has either been attached to the name of the bowl or it has subsumed the name of the bowl (e.g. the Chick-fil-A Bowl used to be the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, but chickens and peaches didn't go well together so they dropped the peaches).

Some of the bowls have rather unique sponsors. For example, there is the New Mexico Department of Tourism New Mexico Bowl; the magicJack.com St. Petersburg Bowl; the Ford, General Motors and Michigan Regional Council of Carpenters and Millwrights Motor City Bowl (which will probably go bankrupt after the game); the Enterprise Rent-a-Car Texas Bowl; and my personal favorite the Emerald Snack Nuts Bowl. It's only a matter of time before there may be a Trojan Condoms Bowl or even a Ty-D-Bol Toilet Bowl Bowl.

Because there are so many advertisers that want their brand to be televised and to be a part of the December-January "Bowl Frenzy," it has become apparent why there are so many bowls and why marginal teams with six losses can suddenly become "bowl qualified." As a matter of fact, at this rate, they'll need another 22 teams with six losses (or maybe 7) by 2010 to make up the number of "new bowls" that we could have by then. As long as corporations are willing to pay exorbitant corporate dollars to "sponsor" or even create bowl games, there won't be any playoffs as we may think of them. There's too much money at stake not only for the corporations, but for the universities participating in those bowl games. If you want an entire catalogue of all the bowl games and the cash breakdown for 2008, here's what you have:

EagleBank Bowl
$1 million

New Mexico Department of Tourism New Mexico Bowl
$750,000

magicJack.com St. Pete Bowl
$1 million

Pioneer PureVision Las Vegas Bowl
$1 million

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
$325,000

San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
$750,000

Sheraton Hotels Hawaii Bowl
$398,000

General Motors and Michigan Regional Council of Carpenters and Millwrights Motor City Bowl $750,000

Meineke Car Care Bowl
$1 million

Champs Sports Bowl
$2.25 million

Emerald Snack Nuts Bowl
$850,000

PetroSun Independence Bowl
$1.1 million

PapaJohns.com Bowl
$300,000

Valero Alamo Bowl
$2.25 million

Roady's Humanitarian Bowl
$750,000

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
$2.13 million

Enterprise Rent-a-Car Texas Bowl
$500,000

Big East
$750,000

Big 12 Bell Helicopter Armed Forces $600,000

Brut Sun Bowl
$1.9 million

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
$1.6 million

Insight Enterprises Bowl
$1.2 million

Chick-fil-A Bowl
$3.25 million ACC
$2.4 million for SEC

Outback Steakhouse Bowl
$3 million

Toyota Gator Bowl
$2.5 million

Capital One Bowl
$4.25 million

Rose Bowl Presented by Citi
$17 million

FedEx Orange Bowl
$17 million

ATT Cotton Bowl
$3 million

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
$1.7 million

Allstate Sugar Bowl
$17 million

International Bowl
$750,000

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
$17 million

GMAC Bowl
$750,000

BCS Championship Bowl
$17million

If one tallies all that cash, then here's what's at stake: a total of $128,503,000 for an average of about $3,700,000 per bowl. That means the teams involved in the bowl games make for themselves or their conferences almost $1,850,000 each. These teams may be playing for a lot of things: pride, integrity, a winning season, honor, whatever, but the bottom line is cash with five of the bowl games paying out $17,000,000 each. If the number of new bowls continues as it has, by 2010 that amount would increase to at least $165,000,000 and probably more.

Because of the huge advertising dollars, the chances of there being a college playoff as there is in basketball is and will be highly unlikely unless the NCAA decides to pair off the top 8 AP-UPI teams in the oldest bowl games (Rose, Orange, Sugar, Cotton), extend the season through the end of January, have a semi-final, then a final game and be done with it. Finding a major sponsor for the Bowl of Bowls would be easy. Put one executive each from the biggest sponsoring corporations in a UFC cage. Last corporate executive standing wins. If that doesn't work, then wait until January 8 when everyone can hibernate for yet another year before arguing about playoffs again.

Is that Jim Mora I hear in the background, "Playoffs! Playoffs!"

Read more: Sports, Politics, Sports News

Tag Heuer Drops Tiger Woods From US Campaigns

2009-12-19T10:02:43Z

PORTLAND, Ore. — Swiss watch maker Tag Heuer said Friday that it will "downscale" its use of golfer Tiger Woods' image in its advertising campaigns for the foreseeable future.

The company said it will continue its relationship with Woods but is modifying its marketing programs in certain regions out of respect for his request for privacy.

"Onward Christian Athletes": Tom Krattenmaker's Book Explores Evangelical Monopoly In Sports World

2009-12-19T09:52:00Z

BOSTON — A toss left, a quick break past the defense, and it was obvious Philadelphia Eagles running back Herb Lusk was headed to the end zone. The real surprise came when he arrived 70 yards later.

Lusk dropped to a knee in the NFL's first public end zone prayer.

Carl Landry, Dirk Nowitzki Injury VIDEO: Teeth, Blood And More

2009-12-19T02:16:02Z

Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki and Houston Rockets big man Carl Landry were injured in a gruesome collision in their game tonight. Landy cracked five teeth, received a foul and was knocked out of the game. Marc Spears of Yahoo! Sports tweeted that the Mavericks are "EXTREMELY worried about dirks deep cut with broken teeth in it."

The incident occurred early in the second quarter when the Mavericks led 27-26. Nowitzki was driving to the hoop when he collided with Landry. The Maverick ended up with "pieces of two teeth imbedded in [his] right elbow," according to ESPN's Marc Stein, who adds that 30 minutes were spent cleaning the wound. Scroll down for video.

WATCH:

Get HuffPost Sports on Facebook and Twitter!

Ping Pong Tournament Takes Over Brooklyn

2009-12-18T18:18:05Z

On Monday night the Bellhouse in Gowanus is hosting their semi-annual ping pong tournament. The competition is sure to be fierce, but the attitude is definitely all South Brooklyn. According to the Bellhouse's website:

This will be a single elimination tournament on three tables. Please don't join if you're some crazy pro or way too serious about it. This is a FUN tournament and whiners will be paddled.

If you'd like to cover the event for Huffington Post's New York page, click PARTICIPATE below to put your name in the hat. Our Eyes&Ears editors will review the applications and pick one reporter to head down to the Bellhouse.

What: Amateur Ping Pong Tournament
When: Monday, December 21, 2009
Where: The Bellhouse
149 7th St
Brooklyn NY 11215
718.643.6510

Bears Brace For Personnel Changes In Wake Of Disappointing Season

2009-12-17T16:52:06Z

Simmering speculation that coordinator Ron Turner and other offensive assistant coaches will be the fall guys for the Bears' disappointing season was turned up to a full boil Wednesday.

Mikhail Prokhorov, Russian Billionaire, One Step Closer To Owning Nets

2009-12-17T16:10:05Z

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — A Russian billionaire has moved a step closer to becoming the NBA's first non-North American owner.

Mikhail Prokhorov's Onexim Sports and Entertainment Holdings and the company that owns the Nets announced on Wednesday they had completed their agreement to create a partnership that would own the NBA team and develop the Atlantic Yards project in New York.

David Roher: How Will Tiger Do? A Statistical Look at Returns From Scandals Past

2009-12-17T13:50:11Z

I awoke from a three-week nap a few hours ago (I wrote those other posts in my sleep) to find that Tiger Woods was embroiled in a bit of a scandal. My first reaction, besides confusion as to why I had 1200 messages, was disappointment that his personal problems have led to the announcement that the world's greatest golfer has decided to indefinitely suspend his golf career.

Eventually, the short attention span of the celebrity media will run its course, and Tiger will come back from his self-imposed hiatus. Being a writer on a sports analysis blog, I figure it'd be interesting to add a new angle: can we learn about how Tiger will do from other athletes who have returned from scandal-filled absences? What follows is a case-by-case statistical analysis of a handful of athletes that had high-profile scandals that resulted in time off.

For each athlete, I took a proportion-based stat (which makes some sports difficult) before and after the scandal, and examined whether the difference was significant. Obviously, there are many other factors (aging, the effect the scandal-inducing thing was having before it became public, etc.), so don't take any of it too seriously.

_______________________________________________________________

Player: Manny Ramirez
Scandal: Steroid Use
Hiatus: 50-game suspension, May-June 2009
2009 On-Base Percentage, pre-Suspension: .492 (120 plate appearances)
2009 On-Base Percentage, post-Suspension: .389 (311 PA)
Statistically Significant? Yes. Manny's decline in OBP after his return was statistically significant (again, this says nothing about whether the decline was related to the scandal).

Player: Babe Ruth
Scandal: "The Bellyache Heard Round the World"
Hiatus: Missed first two months of 1925 season recovering from surgery
1924 On-Base Percentage: .513 (681 PA)
1925 On-Base Percentage: .393 (426 PA)
Statistically significant? Yes. Ruth's 1925 performance, while still far above the league average, was the worst of his Yankee career. The team struggled as well, losing more games than could have been explained by Ruth's production alone. The losing season was their first since 1918 and the last until 1965. But both returned to form in 1926.

Player: Ron Artest
Scandal: Pacers-Pistons Fight
Hiatus: Suspended for the remainder of 2004-05 season (73 games)
2003-04 Field Goal Percentage: .421 (1112 attempts)
2005-06 Field Goal Percentage: .404 (867 attempts)
Statistically Significant? No. Artest was a little less accurate, but not significantly so.

Player: Michael Jordan
Scandal: Controversy over his First Retirement. (Not really a scandal per se, but given his parallels to Tiger and that it was in the prime of his career, worth looking at.)
Hiatus: Retired after the 1993 NBA Finals, and returned for the final 17 games of the 1994-95 season
1992-93 Field Goal Percentage: .495 (2003 attempts)
1994-95 Field Goal Percentage: .411 (404 attempts)
Statistically Significant? Yes. But this was probably due to some early rust, as his playoff field goal percentage was back up to .484.

Player: Ricky Williams
Scandal: Repeated Failed Marijuana Tests
Hiatus: Suspended for first 4 games of 2004 season, then retired, and returned in 2005
2003 Success Rate: .39 (392 attempts)
2005 Success Rate: .48 (168 attempts)
Statistically Significant? Yes - Williams improved. The added rest and change in his mindset might have helped Ricky to an improvement upon his return, although a change in the Miami Dolphins offense (Ronnie Brown limited his workload, perhaps keeping him fresh during the season) could be more responsible.

Player: Todd Bertuzzi
Scandal: Assaulting Steve Moore
Hiatus: Suspended for 17 months (including lockout of 04-05)
2003-04 Shooting Percentage: .109 (156 attempts)
2005-06 Shooting Percentage: .125 (200 attempts)
Statistically Significant? No. I couldn't find a better proportional hockey stat, which may have been part of the problem. But Bertuzzi's performances were pretty similar overall, and the main contrast is between these seasons and the ones before, in which Bertuzzi was a much more prolific scorer.

_______________________________________________________________

So what can we make of this? A short break in the middle of a career isn't a death sentence to the career of a great athlete. Guys as focused as Tiger usually is are capable of coming back in the heat of public scrutiny and private turmoil, and any initial difference is usually just rust. But there aren't many examples of great athletes missing time and coming back because of scandals that are easily applicable to Tiger's situation, and even fewer that I could easily do a statistical test on (if readers suggest more in the comments, I'll add them). And even with more analytical rigor (the test I did was picked for ease and not for power or incorporation of better stats), it would be impossible to find the precise effect of public scrutiny.

And that last part is kind of the point of this exercise. When Tiger does come back, the media is going to assign some causality to the current scandal, even if there is none whatsoever. If he's bad early, it'll because he's distracted. If he dominates, it'll be because he's turned over a new leaf. The pattern is as predictable as it is stupid. My guess is that Tiger will continue to play golf the way that he did before. Maybe he'll struggle in the first few tournaments, but he'll round back into form pretty quickly.

I'm just looking forward to the day when golf is boring again.

Note: This post originally appeared on the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective Blog. Next week, we'll look at Kate Hudson's effect on A-Rod's Weighted On-Base Average. Not really.

Chad Ochocinco's Chris Henry Interview VIDEO: WR Cries While Discussing Teammate

2009-12-17T13:03:32Z

Chad Ochocinco was interviewed today about the death of teammate Chris Henry. The star receiver teared up while explaining that the two "talked before every game." He also said that Henry "had been doing everything right." He passed along some wisdom from his grandmother, as well: "You never really question the man upstairs on the decisions he makes because he never makes a mistake."

WATCH:

Get HuffPost Sports on Facebook and Twitter!

BCS, Colleges, NewsCorp Spend A Fortune Lobbying College Football Playoff Proposals

2009-12-17T12:25:03Z

House Resolution 390 will not result in troop deployments to Afghanistan, an overhaul of the U.S. health care system or the bolstering of an economy in tatters.

But because it advocates a new college football playoff format, the legislation, in the minds of millions of fans and at least a few congressional members, is all the same a matter of national import.

Big Ten Expansion: 12 Teams? 14? 16? All In Play As Speculation Flies

2009-12-17T11:47:21Z

It's already known the Big Ten is mulling expansion, but that expansion could be more significant than just a new team or two.

The Chicago Tribune's Teddy Greenstein reported that the conference is keeping an open mind:

Multiple Big Ten sources told the Tribune Wednesday that 14 teams, even 16, could be in play as it relates to the Big Ten's potential expansion. "Anything is possible," one source said, beyond the conventional wisdom of simply adding a 12th school.

The Tribune speculates the following schools are expected to be under close consideration for the expansion: Missouri, Pittsburgh, Rutgers, Syracuse, Notre Dame.

The Trib handicaps each of the above schools here.

Several officials connected to the Big Ten said earlier this week that it is exploring options to expand in the next 12 to 18 months. It's thought that the conference is looking to come up with an even number of members (currently at 11 football teams) so that it could have a conference title game.

Joe Favorito: Has President Obama Stopped Being a Sports Guy? Nah, He's Just Too Busy These Days...

2009-12-16T16:50:00Z

One of the smarter moves President Barack Obama used during his campaign to lure the interest of the casual voter was to introduce his athletic side and interests into his platform discussions. It started with shooting baskets with Sports Illustrated's Scott Price, while discussing his background in and affinity for basketball. He threw out a first pitch and donned his beloved White Sox cap; he played more hoops with the University of North Carolina on another primary stop, analyzed NCAA brackets, talked BCS and hit some golf balls for fun. Meanwhile Senator Hillary Clinton looked uncomfortable talking baseball, Senator McCain, despite being an avid outdoorsman, stopped in at a NASCAR event but took his private time hunting away from the cameras, and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin regaled us as a hockey mom. None were as effective with the casual male sports fan as President Obama, and that feeling resonated with a male audience who may not have followed his campaign closely before. It made him much more "one of the guys." He shoots hoops and likes baseball and talks about it all very comfortably. Did it lure some votes? Probably. Did it detract at any point? No way.

So the election comes and goes and the President continues his sports interests ... he attends a Wizards game in a turtleneck and sits court-side, and talk of bringing a basketball court to the White House to replace the bowling alley runs rampant. Staff members are frequently seen being part of pickup games on the road. Athletes and teams make a trip to the White House a must stop during their D.C. swings, whether the President is in residence or not. Hall of Famers show up in record numbers, a new office to assist in growing Olympic sport and youth issues is announced. Talk of Opening Day for baseball and Final four predictions abound, despite all the challenges that are ongoing in the real world for the new President.

Yes there are the traditional champion's visits, but the sense of sport for this President (even with his predecessor being a former MLB owner) has never been higher. Even on the international scene, the optimism around the coming vote for the 2016 Olympics, right in the President's backyard, gives the Chicago bid a welcomed boost.

Time then moves ahead, and alas, our sporting President has moved on to bigger issues than pickup ball. Healthcare reform, the repayment of bank loans, and the war in Afghanistan rightfully dominate the agenda these days, and his most forward link to sports lately, August's trip to Copenhagen to support Chicago's Olympic bid, ended badly.

Has the President abandoned using sports as a social unifier to reach the young male who loved watching him mix it up on the court and play catch? Probably not. Using that sports platform to address the growing issue of childhood obesity in this country, will be a welcomed statement at the right time, perhaps as a part of another step in healthcare.

One prominent former athlete, (now NBC broadcaster) Tiki Barber, has made a trip or two to the White House to show his plans to use playgrounds ... the plan is called "Play Proud"... as a spot where children in inner cities can resolve conflicts and build a base for healthy play, and that could certainly factor into the administrations' plans for the future. The Office of Olympic, Paralympic and Youth Sport, announced in June, is also finding its place amongst those in DC, and could be rolled out on a larger platform as we move toward the Vancouver Olympics in February. All will find its place in time.

So has the President stopped being the "sports guy"? Nope. Will we see him dropping in on a Georgetown hoops game, or the NHL Winter Classic or the Super Bowl? Probably not soon.

Like all of us he just doesn't have time right now for catch. That's also probably a good thing.

Staar: Whose Transgressions Are Worse, Tiger's or the Women?

2009-12-16T16:40:29Z

I do wish the tabloids would stop calling Tiger's panty models and porn stars, mistresses. It gives the rest of us a
bad name. Why do they think they deserve the title mistress? Lord knows, they don't have the qualifications. With
horror I can disclose an error one of Cheetah Woods' "transgressions" made. This woman claims that after a year and
a half of cooing over calamari with Tig, she asked him "for a little help". Now, there is nothing wrong with asking for

a handout every now and again, but if she had been a true mistress with an honest arrangement she wouldn't have had
to ask for anything. She would have set her terms before the first Manolo hit the bear skin rug.

What the state of the union being what it is today - and I'm not talking the economy, I'm talking about the dreadful

lack of manners - its' a wonder a mistress can even find a man. Do I really need to write the Emily Post Book of
Mister and Mistresses Etiquette Primer? It is so difficult nowadays to be a mistress, what with women constantly
giving it away for free. Has everyone forgotten the purpose of a mistress?

Mistresses hark back to the good ol' days, when a man threw furs and diamonds at a woman simply to be in her
presence. Having a mistress was a badge of honor, arm candy for those that could afford it. Of course, this was when most marriages were arranged - remember marriage itself is an invention, to gather lands and titles for the families of
some poor cow - excuse me, girl. And if she came from the wrong side of the Thames, so to speak, she had no other choice but to become a mistress. Prince Richy Rich was not marrying her. But he did know he had to pay for her love
and affection. She of course, would be discreet. There was no wife-bashing and sex-secret-spilling in the tabloids. Yes, there were tabloids back then, even if half the population couldn't read. A man comes to you for comfort and joy don't deprive him of those things with your lack of discretion.

The wife is not the enemy. There is no need to humiliate with unsavory (even if they were fun to do) tidbits from the boudoir. You wouldn't want to read about him and her would you (of course you'd be bored to death). A wife and a mistress and a lover can be a wonderful arrangement if all parties are treated with the respect and everyone knows his and her place. She's in the kitchen, you're in the background. Get used to it - besides, yours is the better deal.

Let's get this straight; a mistress is a professional, and a kept woman. Mistresses aren't paid for a night, they are paid for a lifestyle. Her allowance is larger than most dentists' salaries. And that is how she makes a living. She's given tokens (diamonds and rubies are my fav's) and baubles the size of golf balls. The majority of her bills (S500 Mercedes, condo in Malibu, expense account at Neiman's) are paid through the "kindness" of a successful rich "friend." (My friend is Earl, and he's a pearl of one). A mistress is much too busy waxing, exercising and shopping to be texting to the tabloids. She approves of him returning to his wife. How else would she have time for her girlfriends and spa days and flings with car valets?

But ladies, don't give mistresses a bad name. Class it up. Don't kiss and tell, unless you're 80 and your working days are over. How do you expect to ever find another man to support you if you are blabbing to Regis and Whoopi? Remember 15 minutes is just that. Be in it for the long haul (and in my bank account I've quite a "haul").

Remember that old Rockefeller fella that was caught in the act, unfortunately in the midst of having a major heart attack and dying, who left quite a bit of real estate to his 27 year-old mistress/secretary. And she (woman of my dreams) never spoke a word about him to anyone. That is a proper mistress.

I am a serial mistress - often times under the protection of one - or two, but who is counting - powerful rich men who know they have to pay to keep me swinging my Birkin down the hallways of the Peninsula and Four Seasons of the world. I know my place. I know to keep my mouth shut. If a mistress seeks the limelight, go on the stage, like Belle Otero and Lily Langtree, Cora Pearl and a host of other sparkling creatures who, though poor actresses, rose to the top of their other profession. It wasn't by revealing her lover's emails that Marie Duplessis had a play, an opera and countless movies written about her. We're talking La Dame aux Camelias and La Traviata. Not bad for dying at 23 and leaving a legion of men in Paris broken-hearted. Do you think they would have cried one tear if she'd been talking to Us and Star? They would have pushed her under a carriage.

Remember ladies, being a mistress isn't an occupation . . . it's a state of mind

Len Berman: Top 5 Sports Stories

2009-12-16T16:28:49Z

Happy Wednesday everyone, here's my Top 5 for December 16, 2009 from Len Berman at www.ThatsSports.com.

1. Quick Hits

* Pitcher Roy Halladay's Phillies deal is worth $20-million per season. Not quite Johan Santana money, but close.

* A Mets sighting. The team is reportedly close to signing Japanese reliever Ryota Igarashi. The 30-year old has already had Tommy John surgery.

* M-V-P, M-V-P! Kobe Bryant scored 42 points despite wearing a splint on the broken finger on his shooting hand. The Lakers beat the Bulls 96-87.

* College math. The Big 10 is considering expanding from 11 teams to 12.

2. Game Changers

Major League baseball has created a 14 person committee to examine everything on the field. Presumably that means stuff like expanding instant replay. They've got managers, front office people and former players on the committee. What they don't have is anyone who is actually on the field like current players or umpires. Anyway, if I were on the panel I would vote for a 20-second "pitch clock." If a pitcher doesn't throw within 20 seconds it's an automatic "ball." If a batter steps out of the box for anything other than an appendicitis attack it's an automatic "strike." Lets speed up this sucker!

3. Who Knew?

Somebody who has spent some time professionally with Tiger Woods told me "he's a good guy." That he's smart and funny and is good company. As for his infidelity? He said that's commonplace in pro sports.

So after Tiger finally patches things up with his wife, if he ever does, maybe he can start working on his public image. He comes across as steely, unfriendly and spoiled. We've already learned that he's not "perfect" in his private life. Maybe he can start acting more "human" publicly too.

4. Say it Ain't So!

Thanks in part to Tiger, the Top 5 has been an "A-Rod free zone" lately. but now comes the tragic news that A-Rod and Kate Hudson are splitsville. So says Gossipcop.com. They say the trouble began the night the Yanks won the World Series. Maybe it's because he won a ring, and she said, "where's mine?"

5. Everyone's a Comedian

Subscriber Karen V. jokes, "I was in Borders yesterday and saw the new Tiger Woods Bimbos Calendar. That's right, a bimbo for every month of the year."
Of course that's far fetched. We all know that couldn't compete with "The Tiger Woods Weekly Floozy Planner."

Happy Birthday: three time Super Bowl champion center with the Giants and 49ers, Bart Oates. 51.
Bonus Birthday: Ya' feel musical? Yet another one of those one-named artists like Madonna and Cher. Beethoven was born on this date in 1770.

Today in Sports: O.J. Simpson broke Jimmy Brown's single season NFL rushing record. Brown: 1,863 yards. Simpson: 2,003 yards. 1973.
Bonus Event: That goofy taxation without representation bit. The Boston Tea Party. 1773.

Robbie Vorhaus: Tiger, Letterman, Madoff And More: Eight Lessons From The Decade's Biggest Flameouts

2009-12-16T12:32:57Z

Get HuffPost Books On Facebook and Twitter!

Dubai: Tiger Woods Golf Course Will Still Be Built

2009-12-16T12:22:58Z

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — Tiger Woods' business partners in Dubai on Wednesday wouldn't comment on the golfer's personal woes, but say despite the emirate's cash problems they are still pushing ahead with plans to build a course he laid out .

"The Tiger Woods Dubai ... can confirm that it remains committed to the completion of its centerpiece al-Ruwaya golf course," the Dubai state-linked developer said in response to questions Wednesday. "Progress continues on the first golf course designed by Tiger Woods Design."

Brad Kurtzberg: Congress Can Help College Football

2009-12-16T11:24:36Z

Some members of Congress are now threatening to force a playoff system on NCAA Football to replace the existing BCS format.

Let's face facts: a playoff is logical, necessary and would provide for plenty of exciting football. Major college football remains the only sport I know of that doesn't legitimately settle matters on the field of play with a playoff. If there's a high school sport out there that nobody has ever even heard of, rest assured there's a playoff to determine a league, county or state champion. But college football avoids a legitimate playoff. The sport allows a relatively anonymous group of "experts" to determine which two teams have a chance at the mythical national championship. In reality, there should be no "C" in "BCS".

No other sport would tolerate such a system. Imagine if after each NFL team played 16 games, a group of team owners and/or writers got together and picked one NFC team and one AFC team to play in the Super Bowl. What if the Saints and Vikings both finished with 14-2 records and didn't play each other during the regular season, but the pollsters decided New Orleans was a better team because they played in a tougher division. Sorry, Vikings fans, you have no chance of winning a championship.

In baseball, what if the Yankees and Angels had the same record after playing 162 games, won their respective divisions and split their season series? According to the BCS, pollsters are the best way to determine who plays the National League champion in the World Series. Let's face facts: having "experts" decide which team goes to the World Series is even less logical than having the winner of the All Star Game determine home field advantage in the Fall Classic.

People rightly argue that Congress has plenty of bigger issues to deal with than how the NCAA determines who the best college football team in the country is. We have ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, double digit unemployment, a health care crisis, the budget deficit and the ongoing battle against radical Islamic terrorists.

But the opponents overlook one important thing. Sometimes the threat of government intervention is the only way to get the parties to move on an issue and reach a workable solution. The biggest motivator is actually fear. Sports owners and players are afraid that the government will impose a solution on them that is unfavorable to their side in a negotiation or even one that they feel they cannot live with.

Some recent examples include baseball's owners and players finally agreeing on a stricter policy on performance enhancing drugs and the NFL taking more action on the long term problems associated with concussions and other brain injuries. Before Congress threatened to get involved, the baseball owners and players couldn't agree on what color a blue bird is. But when the government threatened to re-examine baseball's anti-trust exemption and impose a solution on the parties, they quickly joined hands and sang Kumbaya.

While the new policy on PEDs is not perfect, it was a major improvement over the original policy which provided only a minor slap on the wrist for cheating players. The changes were also implemented in between normal collective bargaining sessions so the agreement got done years before it would have without the threat of government action.

College football has several arguments against a playoff system but all of them are flawed and full of empty excuses. It's time for the champion of college football to be determined on the football field by a legitimate playoff system. If it takes the threat of Congressional intervention to make that a reality, so be it. The big winner in the long run will be college football fans. Imagine if the champion of college football was no longer mythical. Maybe, with a little "encouragement" from Congress, we can restore the "C" to "BCS".

Mark Shaw: Tiger Woods, Thomas Merton, and the Consequences of Wearing a Mask

2009-12-16T07:31:01Z

Poor Tiger Woods. All he had was a million dollar reputation, a multi-million dollar bank account, a multi-multi-million dollar Florida mansion, and more important, a beautiful, loving wife and two young children by his side. He was hailed as the greatest golfer in the world, one who loved the game so much he gave millions to a foundation supporting youths who could not otherwise afford to play the game. Talk about a "goodie-two-shoes," Tiger was the poster boy for clean living, for being a devoted husband and father, and for being "Mr. Nice Guy" to all who knew him.

Woods became simply the latest celebrity to fall, the latest one who was discovered to be wearing a mask concealing a dark side consumed with sex and adultery. Like his most recent predecessors, the two cheating governors -- New York's Eliot Spitzer, and South Carolina's Mark Sanford -- Woods had projected a false self, a charade, when instead of dearly loving his wife and children; he carried on sexual affairs, one apparently while his wife was pregnant with their first child.

This contradiction is perhaps the most compelling element of BENEATH THE MASK OF HOLINESS. The wise sage and spiritual writer Thomas Merton knew all about masks and warned those who wore them of the dire consequences. In New Seeds of Contemplation, he wrote that people were "at liberty to be real or unreal . . . be true or false, the choice is ours." Merton believed that we may wear "one mask and now another and never if we so desire to appear with our own true face." Later, he added, "We have a choice of two identities: the external mask which seems to be real and which lives by a shadowy autonomy for the brief moment of earthy existence." Merton noted the danger of taking one's "vulnerable shell" as his true identity, taking the mask as one's own true face, and protecting "it with fabrication even at the cost of violating one's own truths." Sin, Merton asserted, was the result when the false self existed because of ego-perpetuated desires and false motives. This sheds light on Woods' secret life, where his inability to resist temptation of the flesh resulted in adultery, and his admission this week that he had lost sight of certain "values" important to any true existence.

The title of my book touches on this "double" self--something that Merton believed in. Merton believed the origin of man's alienation could be attributed to how a culture divided a person against himself, threw a mask on him, and presented him with a role he may not have wanted to play. But this was no excuse, and alienation was complete when the person identified with the role and thus the mask, and finally determined that any other role or identity was impossible. These words of wisdom are so relevant to today's world, where confusion and despair run rampant and a celebrity like Woods forgets who he really is, falls to temptation, and the projects himself as something he is not. But, like Merton, a celebrity himself who suffered beneath his mask of holiness through guilt and having never learned how to love and be loved, Woods suffered, and will suffer until he can discard his mask, admit his transgressions, and resort to a true self through forgiveness and the devoted love of his wife and children.

If Woods needed a sign from above that he must stop his sinful deeds, the automobile accident where he was knocked unconscious served as the thunderbolt, the sledgehammer, to wake him up. Woods has a chance to redeem himself and show the world -- and especially young people that idolize him -- that he no longer wears a mask but is the role model everyone believed him to be. Let's hope the wake-up call works, and like Merton, who finally shed his mask through the love of a woman he called "a miracle in my life," Woods may free himself of the heavy yoke of sin that has beat against his brain more than any five iron could ever do.

-- Mark Shaw is the author of Beneath the Mask of Holiness: Thomas Merton and the Forbidden Love Affair that Set Him Free (Palgrave Macmillan).