Survivor Season 19

We are right at the midway point of Survivor: Samoa. Our early villains, Evil Russell, and idiot Shambles, have grown into heroic crusaders against a true villain, Evil Laura.

As night fell on the remains of Tribe Zsa Zsa, realizing the merge was coming soon, Russell dipped into the Survivor cliche glossary for "When we get over there, dude, game on, the game starts."

My future ex-husband Jaison was shivering, which means he was hot and cold at the same time. And with their amazing losing streak, Tribe Zsa Zsa is losing members faster than the Republican Party.

Shambo on her disappointment: "I feel like I got hit by a train today." So that explains her hair! If you think she looks bad, you should see what's left of that train!

It was "Bocce Ball Horseshoes," with each player in turn tossing balls towards a pole. Despite sounding dull, it became a nail-biter, that came down to Danger Dave's last ball deciding the contest.