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The Onion News Network

How To Nail A Job Interview (While Making Employers Both Know And Fear You)

The Huffington Post | William Goodman | Posted 04.04.2014 | Comedy

There's no doubt it, job interviews can be stressful. You need to prep your résumé, prove that you're qualified for the position, stand out from a s...

Son Of CEO 'Pulls Himself Up By Bootstraps'... To Become CEO

The Huffington Post | William Goodman | Posted 10.25.2013 | Comedy

If there's anything that truly defines the American dream, it's someone who pulls themselves up by the bootstraps in order to succeed; a person who ov...

WATCH: Face Tattoos, Unemployment Linked?!

Posted 11.29.2011 | Comedy

You may think the nation's high unemployment is due to the recession, but that's not the whole story. Have you noticed that up to 35% of Americans now...

WATCH: Man In Coma Enters, Leads GOP Race

Posted 12.18.2011 | Comedy

With the 2012 presidential election just about a year away, it's hard to believe how many GOP candidates have entered the race without there being a c...

Carol Hartsell

The Onion To Lose Top Editor In Chicago Move

HuffingtonPost.com | Carol Hartsell | Posted 11.29.2011 | Comedy

When The Onion consolidates its entire staff under one roof next June, it will be doing so without its current editor. Joe Randazzo, who has been ...

Carol Hartsell

Big Changes At The Onion

HuffingtonPost.com | Carol Hartsell | Posted 11.21.2011 | Comedy

NEW YORK -- The editorial team of The Onion, the beloved satirical newspaper that has called New York City its home for the last 10 years, may be movi...

The Onion: Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

In another hilariously accurate report from The Onion News Network, we learn of a missing college girl that matches the description of every sorority ...

Biden Invites Nation's Ladies To Discuss Taxes At Rustic Tahoe Chalet (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

Vice President Joe Biden has an amazing weekend planned, as long as the nation's (single) ladies are game: a secluded retreat at a rustic lodge in Lak...

Study Finds Americans Get The Most Exercise While Drunk (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

A recent study has proven that times of intoxication are when Americans do the most aerobic activities, the Onion News Network reports. From over-ent...

Justin Bieber Revealed To Be 51-Year-Old Pedophile In Disguise (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

The Onion News Network made a shocking discovery recently about teen pop sensation Justin Bieber. It turns out, Bieber is actually 51-year-old pedoph...

The Onion Looks To The Future To Make Us Laugh Today (VIDEO)

Huffington Post | Dan Abramson | Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

The Onion has seen the future. And it doesn't look good. Actually, strike that. It looks very good. The video that is. Where our society is headed, ho...

The Onion: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere (VIDEO)

Posted 05.25.2011 | Comedy

We all know there can't be 24 hours worth of meaningful news to report everyday, so how do all the 24-hour news networks fill the gaps? With 100% bull...