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The Suburban Jungle

You Know You Went To Sleepaway Camp In The '80s If...

Jenny Isenman | Posted 06.24.2014 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

You have a clear understanding of the four food groups: cereal, Popsicles, bug juice and s'mores.

11 Cringeworthy Secrets Our Kids Have Shared

Jenny Isenman | Posted 04.27.2014 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Yep, these are the types of things my sweet little imps (and yours) have volunteered during carpools, sleepovers and playdates. Be careful what you tell them and who you let them talk to.

What Kids Today Can Learn From Gen-Xers About Sick Days

Jenny Isenman | Posted 04.01.2014 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Follow these simple rules and you'll be wrongfully staying home from school in no time. That's right, you CAN fool us, or at the very least make us proud trying.

A Night In The Life Of A Mom Who Has Just Discovered Her Child May Have Lice

Jenny Isenman | Posted 01.23.2014 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Knowing nothing about lice and not having time to look up any facts, I decided that the most efficient way to tackle this plague was to do all the cleaning, washing, vacuuming and nitpicking simultaneously -- or one lousy louse could start the whole cycle again.

Why You Should Totally Get to Second Base With Yourself

Jenny Isenman | Posted 01.23.2014 | Women
Jenny Isenman

I'd heard horrible tales of the mammogram and it's crushing pain. I feared the impending torture and dreaded that what little my child bearing and breastfeeding had left unscathed would be permanently altered.

30 Reasons Moms Are Late

Jenny Isenman | Posted 09.11.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I was always a punctual person, but becoming a parent has put a whole new spin on my excuses for being late to meetings, lunch dates, parties and appointments.

20 Things Moms Say And What They REALLY Mean

Jenny Isenman | Posted 08.11.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Ah, "Momisms"; those phrases we turn to get a short reprieve, to conceal criticism, to maintain our sanity or simply because we have no clue what our child just said and we're trying to go with it.

Only in Florida People, Only in Florida

Jenny Isenman | Posted 06.19.2013 | Miami
Jenny Isenman

We Floridians are somewhat the butt of a running joke that the random, dangerous, and ass backwards things seem to happen here. Unfortunately, we tend to live up to this stereotype by constantly proving it true.

Date Night Before Kids vs. Date Night After

Jenny Isenman | Posted 06.02.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

We still adore our men, but our alone time has little resemblance to the hot dates we once had. Wow, did we take those nights for granted! Want proof? Behold: Date Night Before Kids vs. Date Night After Kids.

What To Do When Your Tween Boy Wants To Hold Your Hand

Jenny Isenman | Posted 04.27.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

The other day, my son looked at me with those same wide eyes that once asked, "Mommy, when I'm older will you marry me?" and asked, "Mom, I'm getting older, doesn't that mean I should start wearing Hollister?"

What Those Conversation Hearts SHOULD Say After Marriage and Children ...

Jenny Isenman | Posted 04.14.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

I've had some awkward V-Day Moments, from my 5-year-old trying to soap opera kiss me to my hubby trying to stuff himself and champagne into an undersized NYC bathtub in our undersized NYC apartment. I've decided this year will not be awkward.

Should Parents Need a License to Procreate?

Jenny Isenman | Posted 04.07.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

You're also required to pass a test to drive a car, sell a house or be a lifeguard. You can take a class to learn how to give birth, but once that baby's out, you're on your own.

Top 10 Resolutions Anyone Can Keep

Jenny Isenman | Posted 03.02.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

I'm so tired of looking back at the resolutions of the past year and realizing they lasted no longer than a week, which is why this year, I've decided to make a list that's way less ambitious.

Does Humor Have Any Place in Tragedy?

Jenny Isenman | Posted 02.17.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

I thought about not writing anything humorous until we could all come to grips with this injustice (So, essentially, never). But, I will and I hope other humorists do too.

Popular Beauty Myths, Debunked

Jenny Isenman | Posted 02.06.2013 | Women
Jenny Isenman

Do you get zits from unwashed pillowcases or cellphones? Will you age the way your parents age? Do retinoids make you more susceptible to sun damage or sunburn?

The Best 'Quickie' Stretch for Moms

Jenny Isenman | Posted 01.27.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Frankly, I'm getting tired of reaching around in the car to grab a drink/toy/video game from one of my children, only to find I've pulled out my back/shoulder/neck.

15 Tips to Help Moms Survive in the Suburbs

Jenny Isenman | Posted 01.20.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Nearly a decade ago, I moved to the suburbs from NYC. In that time I've learned some pretty important things to ensure my survival, nay, my sanity.

Glum to Glam Mom Makeover

Jenny Isenman | Posted 01.13.2013 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Listen, I've given up many things since becoming a mom: perky boobs, solo trips to the restroom, an enormous amount of hair (I had no idea how much hair I would lose after pregnancies)... but the one thing I refuse to give up is being glam.

Why to Keep Your Blender and Ditch Your Juicer, and Other Drinking Myths Debunked (VIDEO)

Jenny Isenman | Posted 12.18.2012 | Healthy Living
Jenny Isenman

On this week's episode, I talk with the Nutrition Twins, Tammy and Lyssie Lakatos, about juicing, juice fasts, superfruit smoothies, and teas in every color of the rainbow, which are all touted to be "the next best thing."

The True Bane of Suburbia: Teenage Wannabe Gangstas

Jenny Isenman | Posted 12.10.2012 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Beware their 8 Mile lingo, t-shirts with moderately offensive sayings and fro-yo addiction. They're hoodlums alright. Well, they wear hoodies and they live in the hood, well, the suburban gated neighbor'hood.

11 Phrases We Should Teach Our Children to Say

Jenny Isenman | Posted 11.05.2012 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

If this tiny, guileless thought could make me feel so great, why can't we train our children to say things that will make us feel hipper, younger and smarter?

Why is Sending Kids to Sleepaway Camp so Freakin' Stressful?

Jenny Isenman | Posted 08.26.2012 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Sending the kids to camp is supposed to be this delightfully awesome time of freedom and reprieve, but it's not for me.

How to Scar Children for Life or When Bedazzling Goes TOO Far

Jenny Isenman | Posted 08.21.2012 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

At a baseball game recently, a mom friend and I were having a bout of witty banter that went terribly, horribly, irrefutably awry.

The Most Embarrassing Moment You Never Had in The '80s -- But I Did

Jenny Isenman | Posted 07.31.2012 | Women
Jenny Isenman

You know how whenever you're feeling a little big for your britches, you'll get an earth-shatteringly embarrassing flashback that puts you right back in your place?

Top 5 Reasons Moms Should NOT Take Sex Advice from Magazines

Jenny Isenman | Posted 06.24.2012 | Parents
Jenny Isenman

Mommas, do yourselves a favor, throw out those, "spice it up" pieces and top 10 lists. Don't be too concerned about the quantity of the sex you're having as long as your having some.