Tiger Woods Apologizes

Tiger Woods is back and clearly hasn't missed a beat. Nothing seems to be distracting him yet, but that hasn't stopped some mischief-makers from tryin...

The teleprompter, for all the commentary it has elicited, would have allowed Mr. Woods to deliver his carefully-crafted statement to the world with a full voice and a sincere look in his eyes.

I'm sorry that Tiger's wood got the best of him. I'm very sorry for his wife. But the affair of an athlete is a matter between his penis, his wife, and his corporate sponsors.

Tiger Woods doesn't owe us a thing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. Not contrition. Nothing. Unless a public figure has broken the law, there is only one legitimate answer to the illegitimate probing of private lives: "It's none of your business." That said, purely on its own terms, Tiger's apology was, pardon the expression, par for the course. You can just picture his handlers working on the statement and going down a checklist. Accept blame: check. Look right into camera: check. Touch hand to chest: check. Watery eyes: check. Defend wife: check. Accuse the media: check. Hug mother: check. Go back to rehab: check. It was déjà vu all over again. Another public figure navigating the now-requisite Stations of the PR Cross. Watch: Arianna Discusses the Anger On Display at CPAC on Countdown

Tiger Woods has posted an apology to his web site. In the statement he says, "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of ...

The reverberations will continue, but Tiger's role in the show is over. After a horrendous start and a lucky break, Tiger's crisis team finally got the job done.