The silver lining to dating someone who is emotionally and physically abusive is that they've set the bar pretty low. In contrast, everyone else you ever date will seem like Princess Charming. Of course, this silver lining is simultaneously a potential problem.
You've been dating the same type of guy or gal for years -- controlling, dominating, manipulative -- and you can't seem to break the pattern. Your friends are constantly asking: "Why are you always drawn to these type of people, when they make you so unhappy?"
Often, we find ourselves inadvertently repeating the habitual relational patterns of our family of origin. Being aware of this can allow us the space to make different decisions about how we want to be. But it's hard work. Old emotional ties can make this a sticky process.
Why is it that we gay men allow ourselves to be subjected to secret relationships with closeted men? I've gone through so much self-inflicted emotional anguish because I wanted to be with someone who, quite frankly, didn't care enough to want to be with me.
Spirituality is not about becoming the person that you are supposed to be, or about doing the "spiritual" thing. To be spiritual is to compassionately welcome your truth -- what you actually feel -- whether you like that truth or not.
The cycle of overeating and obesity can be broken. Those trapped in it know what it feels like, but putting our heads in the ground and wishing it would go away will not work -- anybody who has lost weight only to gain it all back and then some knows what I mean.
Life is a journey meant to share with those close to us, and if we want the quality of our daily experiences to be as good as they can be, we need to decide who is most worthy of sharing our life with.
While unhealthy intimate unions can wreak havoc on the psyche and may inform the way in which we treat others, it's usually an insular thing. Group dysfunction, however, is far-reaching and often much more dangerous.