Two years and 4,860 pills later, I now realize how little I actually understood about transitioning back in February 2011. There were so many aspects of transitioning and being treated like a woman in society that I was totally unprepared for.

As it happened, coming out as trans to my spouse was wrenching for both of us, and it took the better part of six months for each of us to convince the other that we didn't want to leave. We were going to give it our best shot, whatever came.

I'm writing about my transition not only because a 10th anniversary seems an appropriate time to do so but because a friend of mine, Professor Joy Ladin of Yeshiva University, is undergoing a public trial by fire regarding her transition.

Just as it takes transgender people years to accept themselves, they must also allow a reasonable period of time for family and friends to adjust. Expecting anything else can be very self-centered and selfish.

I had over 600 friends on my Facebook page before, and I re-friended all of them with my new profile, and waited. Over the last year, I gained probably 68 percent of all of the old friends back. Facebook gave me the chance to come out in public before I physically stepped out in public.