Most births don't have complications but some do, and it is unfortunate when women feel they or their births are failures for failing to meet their preconceived notions of success. Women should strive for a birth that is manageable and meaningful, but without a sense of entitlement that it must be fast, painless, and stoic.
For years I've had this dream: Sometimes I'm a bird, other times I'm fully human. Always it's a dive into the ocean. Bird, me as a child, as an adult -- no matter, in the dream, it's straight to the bottom I go. With bloody fingers, with a scratched beak, I try to excavate, to retrieve something hard to see.