Valentines Day on The Huffington Post

David Finkle: Holiday Cheer: Not Always So Cheerful

2009-11-17T10:16:16Z

And now for some more palaver from your Cheerful Curmudgeon. And remember that curmudgeonhood, by definition, means, among many other things, being habitually late to the figurative party.

So you'll forgive the Cheerful C. if he's only recently learned about the Gross National Happiness Index that Facebook has developed over the past few years. It's the index that, as the curmudgeon understands it, is the constantly developing result of computers sorting for indications of happiness or sadness through words used on Facebook posts.

The search has pinpointed individual and collective happiness by clocking repeated words. For those as resolutely and regularly behind-the-curve as the C. C., it might be helpful to mention that positive, or happy, words in posts include "happy" (duh!), "yay!" and "awesome." Words denoting the opposite include "sad" (duh again!), "doubt" and "tragic."

According to Facebook--which seems to have borrowed this idea from Bhutan King Jigme Singye Wangchuck and a gauge of his country's well-being--it becomes an easy thing to clock the nation's happiest days. By the use of a simple chart (which won't be reproduced here for reasons of technological ignorance), the happiest day by far for mood-swinging Americans is Thanksgiving, followed (if the Curmudgeon reads the chart correctly) by Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, Valentine's Day and Halloween--all of them, by inference, combining into one sustained nation-wide "whee!"

(Note no mention of New Year's Eve,)

So here's where the Cheerful Curmudgeon has to say it's all too clear that the word-crunching computers selecting "happy" and "yay!" and "awesome" (probably most frequently plucked from the phrase "Awesome, dude!)--and drawing conclusions about their import--have obviously never been to a 12-step meeting.

If those computers had sat in support-group gatherings at certain holiday times of the year--and we're just entering the biggest--they'd know happiness is not an abundant commodity. It can be quite the opposite for people recovering on a one-day-at-a-time basis. The mere mention of, particularly, Thanksgiving and Christmas and, almost as significantly, Valentine's Day can strike fear in the hearts of those sharing in rooms with folding-chairs. Bringing up the dicey subject(s) makes blood run cold and hair stand on end.

As the Cheerful Curmudgeon understands it from having 12-step-matriculated many years back, the words "Christmas" and "Thanksgiving" instantly conjure images of family, and family--or perhaps individual family members--are the ones seen as responsible for the origins of the recovering member's problems. Deciding whether to spend holiday time with people believed to be perpetrators is hardly cause for wide smiles and the irresistible desire to put on party hats. Breaking bread with abusers around the Yule log isn't appealing to men and women unable to release resentments completely. As for Valentine's Day, the recollections of failed romances also falls short of the urge to shout "hooray!" and dance a jig.

At this point in the column at hand, there's the temptation to mention holiday suicide rates, since for so long it's been conventional wisdom that death by one's own hand spikes dramatically during the last six weeks of the years. Is that old fave flick It's a Wonderful Life behind this canard? If so, it's misleading, since, according to studies, suicides don't multiply between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve but in the early spring.

That doesn't mean, of course, that when wassail-time draws near, everything is hunky-dory. The Cheerful Curmudgeon does know one psychotherapist who reports he can expect his practice to become busier as November approaches. This is just anecdotal evidence, of course, but still.

Perhaps the explanation for the Facebook Gross National Happiness Index's gross neglect of the high anxiety associated with holidays can be traced to those computers. It seems as if the news release announcing the FGNHI stipulated that for the purposes of privacy "no one at Facebook actually reads the status updates in the process of doing this research." The task is completely left to computers, but perhaps if real people were involved, they might question the findings--some almost certainly from personal experience.

The Cheerful Curmudgeon only mentions this at length here, because denying wide-spread downbeat feelings as the year's festivities loom can be problematic. Such lack of acknowledgment can mean sufferers will only feel more removed from the general jubilation, further isolated in their despair. And that would be compounding the situation rather than helping to alleviate it by understanding, by empathizing.

As for those over-worked computers: Imagine that this column had been posted on Facebook. The word "cheerful" shows up in it several times. But although its author is basically cheerful and gets through holidays pretty much intact, the message contained isn't entirely cheerful. That's to say, computers miss irony. (So do many people.) And the inability to detect irony might even give the lie to Facebook's whole undertaking.

Mark Shriver: An Opportunity for Kids to Fight Poverty Through Creativity

2009-11-04T11:13:35Z

With a poverty crisis affecting one in six children in America, we need new ways to raise awareness and engage more Americans in this tragic yet reversible situation. Perhaps the best resource for advocacy is kids themselves. So here's a project that educates kids about the challenges too many of their peers face while harnessing their creativity to make change and, at the same time, gives them a chance to win a $500 savings bond and meet actor and advocate Julianne Moore.

In partnership with the American Federation of Teachers' (AFT) Randi Weingarten and Julianne Moore, Save the Children's U.S. Programs is holding a school-based art contest this month. We're asking young people -- from Pre-K through 12th grade -- from across the country to create cards using the heart image as a symbol for values like unity, loyalty and responsibility. In addition to the leadership role kids play in designing the cards, they will also take the lead in picking five winning card designs online in mid-December.

The final set of five kid-designed Valentine's Day cards will be made available for ordering as a boxed set in mid-January. Funds raised will be used to support Save the Children's innovative public-private partnership programs that are making a real difference in the lives of low-income kids across the nation.

The best way to get kids involved is for teachers to participate in an AFT lesson plan on childhood poverty that brings awareness about childhood poverty into the classrooms, with the art contest as the centerpiece activity.

The deadline for art is December 1st and details on participation are at savethechildren.org/cardcontest. The five winning artists will each receive a $500 savings bond and the artist whose card receives the most votes will have the opportunity to meet actress Julianne Moore in January and join her on a press tour about the project.

This generation of kids has already proven its ability and desire to serve others. Indeed, they are the most civic-minded generation in sixty years. This contest is a terrific way to engage them in perhaps one of the most important causes of all -- each other.

'Valentine's Day' Trailer! Julia & Emma Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Bradley Cooper & More (VIDEO)

2009-09-18T15:41:17Z

***SCROLL DOWN TO WATCH THE TRAILER***

There are still a couple of seasons before Valentine's Day--when the star-studded movie of the same name comes out. But here are some reasons to get excited for it now.

For the first time Julia Roberts will share the screen with her doppelganger 18-year-old niece, Emma, who plays a girl plotting to lose her virginity.

Bradley Cooper plays Julia's love interest who happens to be gay.

Anne Hathaway, Topher Grace, Jennifer Garner, Jamie Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane, Ashton Kutcher, Taylor Swift, Queen Latifah, Shirley MacLaine, Jessica Biel and George Lopez are all in it. Will this be the next 'Love, Actually'? You decide.

WATCH:

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Keith Blanchard: Attention K-Mart Shoppers: Could America's Throwaway Holiday Crap Industry Be Next to Fail?

2009-02-19T13:06:28Z

My wife and I decided this year to massacre Valentine's Day, that fakiest of all Hallmark holidays. It's been years since V-Day even meant dinner and a card exchange, never mind candy and jewelry, but with America officially eating off our grandchildren's plates now, it was time to stop pussyfooting around. So we stood Valentine's up against the wall, and filled it full o' lead, like the dirty rat that it is.

At the stores, though, it was business as usual. A pink-and-red sea of hearts and cupids and ribboned $5 knickknacks, as if demand for such things were totally inflexible. At CVS I saw a display of gigantic beet-red heart-shaped mylar balloons that sing if you tap on them. I'm not kidding: A sign claimed exactly that superpower. They were two for $6--because honestly, what can you hope to accomplish with just one singing balloon?

Hard to imagine anyone's income is quite that disposable these days. But many months transpire between the production of throwaway seasonal garbage, typically in China, and its consumption. These frivolous singing balloons had been commissioned based on last year's sales, and were already steaming toward us on a freighter when our economy first coughed up a lung; there was literally no stopping them, even if nobody in America had any "stupid money" left to buy them.

My point is this: As we downshift our screaming, whining economy out of overdrive, the holidays are going to get hit hard. Holidays were born as celebrations of momentary abundance: You share the first fruits of spring, or throw a feast after a bountiful harvest. But in the boom years of ridiculous, overleveraged plenty, there was no easy way to symbolize abundance, so they became grotesque experiments in wastefulness.

Now that money doesn't grow on trees anymore, all we can do is gather the grandchildren into a circle and tell them amazing tales of the world o' plenty we once had. Will it even sound plausible? Let's find out...

Remember...greeting cards?

Back when money meant nothing, kids, we used to buy little cards for each other, dozens of times a year--whenever we thought of it, really. We'd spend hours milling the aisles in a potpourri daze searching for just the right mass-produced sentiment to express our unique love/gratitude/condolence. $2.99 or $3.99 or $4.99...we didn't even care, as long as they shaved that symbolic penny off the top. We could have saved ALL the money AND the time with a truly personal note scribbled on a food-ration wrapper, like we do now, but that was not the tradition.

What a racket those card sharps had going! There were whole stores that sold nothing but greeting cards, and whole companies that did nothing but produce them, because they were so damn lucrative. Three cents for paper and ink, fifty bucks to the gag writer, and the rest pure, delicious profit. Nothing for the execs to do all day but dream up new fake occasions people might need greeting cards for. New job? Buy a card. Kid graduating? One card from each of you, please. Friend dying? Nothing heals like schmaltz.

Young couples were particularly susceptible, and would often hand one another multiple cards for the same occasion. One romantic one, and one funny one, let's say. And look...here's one to you from the cat, and here's one to me from the cat! Awww...

Remember...Mother's Day?

Back before the economy fell over and broke, we would celebrate our love for the saintly woman who bore us by sending her bunches of dead flowers. Every year, all of us, on the same day--can you believe it? Whole armies of gardeners would hack them down by the millions, a horrible floricaust in the merry merry month of May. And bundle and truck them to individual homes in the most wasteful process imaginable, all on the exact same day so as to further exacerbate the cost.

Father's Day never really took off, though the tie industry saw a small bump. But did folks ever love sending packages of dead flowers to their moms. In fact we were entirely price-insensitive to the whole thing; it just had to be done. On the phone, the florist would typically start by inquiring, not "What is your mother's favorite flower?" but "How much would you like to spend?" And then they could take it from there.

Remember...anniversaries?

Back when there was still job security, when getting laid off meant mere inconvenience rather than hunger, despair, and a brief life of crime before your death in a hail of gunfire, it was customary for a young paramour to set aside two months of his salary to purchase a tiny pebble that his beloved could walk around with, in a loop on her finger. And not just any rock--It had to be the rarest, most expensive rock in the world, even if he was, say, a shoeshine boy, or a grade school principal.

Nobody remembered why, but there was no questioning it. And although this particular rock had very special properties indeed--it could cut glass, for one thing, and coax music out of grooves in vinyl--it was never used for these purposes, just for finger decoration.

And we all knew, even then, that the price of these "diamonds" was kept artificially astronomical by some shady Dutch cartel, and that they were cut out of the earth by extremely poor native people, who were frightfully abused. But there was nothing for it: Each and every eligible female on the planet had to eventually get one of these rocks on her finger, or be branded "spinster" or worse.

It wasn't enough you had to mortgage your future on one of these very expensive pebbles--no, that was just the beginning! You were supposed to buy gifts for your beloved all year long: On her birthday, and on Valentine's, and on Christmas and on your Anniversary. Your first Anniversary was the day on which it had been exactly a year since your marriage...and then your second at two years, etc. Department stores had helpful lists of appropriate materials for specific anniversaries, to make sure you were spending up to the exact level you could afford. 15th was "Crystal." 60th was "Diamond," in case by this point your beloved was bored with the crappy old diamond you had started her on.

Remember...Christmas?

This, children, was the big mack daddy of them all. Millions of dead flowers, iced and overnighted to virtually every house in the country might do for a pansy half-assed red-letter day like Mother's Day, but at Christmas we really pulled out the stops.

Every family had to chop down a living tree and throw it onto their curb for the garbageman, after briefly pulling it into their house to stand as a suitably grand centerpiece for a giant anthill of presents. Acres and acres of good arable soil were devoted to the growing of Christmas trees, even though there were acutely hungry people to be found, even then, in almost every city. The tree had to be able to poke out of the mound of presents, no matter how high it was, so you generally got the biggest tree that would just scrape in under your ceiling. Offices and hotel lobbies had to get them too, only they were allowed to fake the presents part with beautifully wrapped empty boxes. Some gigantic oaf of a tree would even be trucked by eighteen-wheeler to the White House itself. There were no exceptions!

Two weeks later, the dead tree would be tossed unceremoniously to the curb, bleeding tinsel and flanked by six or eight giant black trash bags, stuffed with packaging from all those presents over which this forest of dead trees had recently towered. Everyone in every family had to get multiple presents, "as many and Dyvers as thine house can afford," as Christ had decreed.

We were wacky for packaging in those days, back before the economy got drunk and stumbled out of a bar and got pulped by a truck. "Wrapping Paper" was a specialized paper designed to conceal the identity of this thing you didn't need until the exact moment you were inclined, or allowed, to see it. Sometimes, you would wait eagerly in one room, unwrapping fingers poised, while someone finished wrapping the present in the next room over.

You would then tear off the wrapping paper and put it in the garbage, so you could get to the present's store-bought packaging, which would also have to be pried away, sometimes with scissors and screwdrivers, and put in the garbage. Unless your present was very fine indeed, all that packaging and wrapping paper, and related advertising and shipping costs, would almost certainly out-cost the item itself. And old-timey Christmas songs played incessantly in the background everywhere, in stores and elevators and cars and in your house, to remind you that it had always been just like this, so shut up.

Yes, we sure did buy a lot of crap in those days generally, and holidays were there to make us feel Scrooge-y about making the slightest effort to rein it in. There weren't enough crap-buying holidays in a year to dispose of all our money, in fact, so they were constantly trying to squeeze a few more of them in, like Martin Luther King Day, and Secretary's Day.

In fact, right up to the very moment our economy leaned too far out the train window and got decapitated by the Amtrak heading the other way, department stores were subtly starting to float the idea of "Christmas in July," every year, just to see if people would go for it.

DC Power Couples Recall First Spark

2009-02-16T09:38:35Z

They have power lunches. They dash off to meetings. They're kind of a big deal.

For Valentine's Day, some prominent D.C. couples look back on the moment when they first joined forces.

Suze Orman's Valentine's Day Wish: Gay Marriage (VIDEO)

2009-02-15T11:32:01Z

Via AmericaBlog, financial adviser Suze Orman gives her wish for Valentine's Day -- that all Americans, gay and straight, can make the most out the money they earn by enjoying the financial benefits of marriage. Watch:

Joan Z. Shore: Be My Virtual Valentine

2009-02-14T19:07:38Z

I have decided this year to ignore Valentine's Day.

At least, the real Valentine's Day, replete with candy, cards, flowers and candlelit dinners.

I am going to fire up my imagination, and my libido, by exploring love on the internet. At Match.com, I am told there are no fewer than ten million subscribers looking for their soulmate. Okay, let's assume half of them are male and half are female. That still leaves a cool five million men who are lonely.

Okay, let's assume half of those five million are married, under thirty, or over eighty-five. Let's assume another million are gay. That still leaves a playing field of about one and a half million guys.

Wow! Let's begin.

First, I eliminate anyone who is fat. Usually, this is acknowledged by the statement "a few extra pounds". In other words, "fat".

Second, I eliminate anyone who who has not gone beyond high school. I'm sorry, but "the school of life" is too often a euphemism for "high school dropout". My parents didn't send me to Vassar for that.

Third, I eliminate anyone who is still grieving over someone he lost. I am not a psychotherapist, nor will I ever attempt to fill the shoes of another woman (even if the shoes are Manolo Blahniks).

Fourth, I eliminate anyone who says he's "a good kisser". Yes, there are actually some men who brag about this. Does he slobber? Does he bite? I want none of it.

Fifth, I eliminate anyone who admits he has more than four children by more than three wives. To my mind, he is the domestic equivalent of a serial killer.

Sixth, I eliminate anyone who likes "long walks on the beach at sunset". This has become such a cliché that it shouldn't even be necessary to mention it. But I do -- because long walks are better taken early in the morning when one is wide awake. And sunsets are better viewed from a comfortable balcony with a glass of Sauvignon.

I am also very wary of men who live in Florida and enjoy "long evenings cuddling by an open fire". Or men who own a 20-foot skiff on Lake Michigan and want to sail around the world. Or men from Manhattan who don't know the MoMA from the Met.

Having thus drawn my parameters, I realize that there may be only a few dozen men remaining out of that original million and a half. For heaven's sake, write me!

Ours will be a virtual romance, with no candy, no flowers, no fancy dinners. Just an exchange of passionate e-mails, a photo or two, and a promise to connect again next February.

Kevin Roose: Celebrating Valentine's Day at Jerry Falwell's College

2009-02-14T14:06:22Z

At most American colleges, young lovers are spending Valentine's Day doling out Whitman's samplers, stuffed animals, and long-stemmed roses to their crushes and significant others, hoping to get lucky in the process. Not so at Liberty University, the late Reverend Jerry Falwell's "Bible Boot Camp" for young evangelicals.

As I found out when I spent a semester undercover at Liberty for my book The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University, many hard-line evangelicals don't celebrate Valentine's Day at all. As holidays go, it's considered fairly dangerous - not because there's anything inherently sinful about chocolate and flowers, but because allowing Christian college students to acknowledge Cupid's wiles makes them more likely to kiss, fondle, and sleep with each other, all activities prohibited by Liberty's 46-page code of conduct, called "The Liberty Way."

Instead, every February 14th, my classmates at Liberty (and thousands of other evangelical teens across America) celebrate the National Day of Purity, a conservative Christian holiday designed to promote abstinence before marriage. The Day of Purity was founded at Liberty in 2003 by Mat Staver, the president of Liberty Counsel and dean of the Liberty School of Law, who wanted to give Christian students an alternative to a secular Valentine's Day and its lustful associations. On February 14th, participants agree to wear "LivePure" wristbands and white t-shirts to symbolize their commitment to abstinence, and many sign purity pledges, putting their promises in ink.

When I was at Liberty, I heard Dean Staver promote the holiday with a speech to the entire student body, during which he compared premarital sex to a nuclear accident. "In Chernobyl," he said, "radioactive material was contained in the reactor, and it produced power, light, and heat. But as soon as the reactor broke and melted down, it produced destruction and death. The nuclear reactor that God created is husband and wife, committed to each other in a lifelong commitment. And when sex is contained within that reactor, it produces unity and intimacy. But when it is taken outside, it results in abortion, disease and death, harm and hurt. It tears apart husbands and wives, and damages children."

As you might expect from sentiments like that, the National Day of Purity is about more than simple abstinence. In fact, most of Dean Staver's speech at Liberty was devoted to attacking liberal initiatives like same-sex marriage, legalized abortion, and the redefinition of gender boundaries. The Liberty Counsel's website (http://www.lc.org/dayofpurity/about/
), laments the fact that "there is a concerted effort in the schools and media to turn our youth away from traditional values," and quotes a gay activist who says, "If we do our jobs right, we're going to raise a generation of kids who don't believe the claims of the religious right." Staver is determined not to let that happen, and the National Day of Purity is one way he intends to advance the conservative Christian cause and take back the culture.

Among my classmates at Liberty, though, Staver's broader political agenda seemed to pass mostly unnoticed. Liberty students are generally pretty vocal about their sexual abstinence even without being prompted by a holiday, and on February 14th, many boyfriends and girlfriends on campus seemed to hold relatively normal - if physically restrained - celebrations of the classic Valentine's Day. (I did, however, see a few people passing out "Scripture Conversation Hearts," the heart-shaped candies with Bible verses replacing "Hug Me" and "Be Mine" on the front.)

In fact, Liberty's celebration of the National Day of Purity may have inadvertently contributed to a minor outbreak of sexual sin - just the thing it was intended to prevent. On the day itself, I saw six guys from my hall huddled on the sidewalk outside the dining hall, standing in a circle and snickering to each other. They called me over, and a senior named Ben whispered in my ear:

"Don't make it obvious, but look at that girl."

With his eyes, he motioned to a very attractive blonde standing behind him. She was wearing her crisp white Day of Purity t-shirt, leaning back against the building and talking on her cell phone.

"What about her?"

"Just...look."

Swiveling around slowly, I laughed out loud. White t-shirts? In 30- degree February? What was Dean Staver thinking? The blonde stood unaware, gabbing into her phone while all six of my hallmates stared at her hardened nipples, which were poking through her shirt like a pair of Cupid's arrows. For these young Christian men, at least, the National Day of Purity came as a righteous blessing indeed.

Carolita Johnson: Valentine Rapture

2009-02-14T11:53:45Z

Jill Sobule: A Valentine's Song and Small Story

2009-02-14T11:01:39Z

Valentine's Day in grade school was basically stressful, a pain in the ass, and ultimately traumatic. You would have to give a valentine to everyone in class -- it was mandatory -- but the card's size or fanciness you'd give to each person was your decision. Neither my mom nor I were good at crafts, so I always had those sad store-bought ones that came in boxes of, I think, 20. The box usually consisted of ten shitty small cards, eight medium-sized ones, and two really big special ones. Those big ones would go to your best friends or maybe a secret crush -- if you had the nerve. I, being sort of a weirdo and not the most popular girl, had a really hard time choosing who would get what card. First of all, I didn't have one or two best friends for the really big ones. Secondly, the secret crush was an asshole, and I didn't want her to think that I cared. Most of all, I was worried that the classmates, whom I gave the small shitty cards to, would feel insulted and hurt. It was a no-win situation.

But what was worse was the anticipation of not receiving as many quality cards as most of the other girls. I didn't want to look like a loser. Let's say I gave Billy Bell (who I thought was the closest thing to a best friend) the big Cupid card, but in return, did not receive his prized card with the giant candied Valentine heart engraved with "Be Mine." What if my asshole crush, Shelly, got it? And you know what? It happened.

As an adult, Valentine's Day has been more benign and less worrisome. However, there is always that awkward moment in the beginning of a relationship. Do you give a Valentine gift? How good or expensive should it be? Will your present be too overbearing -- scare someone away -- or not up to snuff? One time I gave a great mix tape (of love songs) to this sweet boy I was just starting to see casually -- so I thought. In return, he handed me this silk case with really expensive looking pearl earrings inside. We were in our early twenties. It kind of weirded me out.

Now, the person who I am seeing presently and I have decided not to exchange gifts, and instead, just go to a really fancy-pants restaurant -- it's hard times for everyone. A dinner sounds great! But... what if all of a sudden a silk case or a giant candied heart is presented to me during dessert, as a surprise, and I have nothing? Maybe, I will have to have something wrapped in my purse just in case. What about a mix tape? It's the thought that counts.

Here is the closest thing I have to a nice Valentine's love song. It's from my new record (fan- funded and coming out April 14th). It's called "Sweetheart". My pal John Doe (of X and Knitters fame) provides the sweet harmonies.

Click the play button to listen and read the lyrics below.

Sweetheart
(Sobule/Eaton/Dickens)

If I was your sweetheart and you were my darling

I'd always remember the way you look now

Even here in this diner, your bright eyes shining

You're always smiling when you're by my side

And that man he's rude, he talks to you just like you were his wife, but I would be more kind

My coffee cup has been filled up for the seventh time

And you're so on my mind

If I was your secret and you were my keeper

I think we'd be happy and rarely be blue.

We'd run around laughing, maybe go out dancing

If I as your sweetheart and you were my darling

And all I'd ever want from you is that you would keep it true

And I'd write songs for you

And we'd go around the world to see all the disappearing things

And then we'd vanish too

If I was your sweetheart and you were my darling

I'd take off your apron

You've been a good waitress

Valentine's Day Around The World

2009-02-14T10:46:52Z

Communities around the world are pausing today to celebrate love. We encourage you to do the same.

Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent: This V-Day, Get the Love You Deserve!

2009-02-14T10:31:44Z

Since last month's release of How to Love Like a Hot Chick, we've been talking to women all over the country about their dating trials and relationship tribulations as we help them find the love that they want and deserve. One of the most inspiring things we've heard came from a woman in her 40's who told us, "I'm getting married this year!" We congratulated her and asked about the lucky man, but instead she said, "I haven't found my future husband yet, but I'm tired of waiting for him to find me, so I've decided that I'm going to use the techniques in your book and find him myself!"

This woman has it right. She knows what she wants but she isn't desperate to get it. Instead, she's positive and determined and willing to do the necessary work in order to get the love that she deserves - the love that all you ladies deserve. If you are single this Valentine's Day and unhappy about it, we want you to do something to change that. Don't get all negative and depressed and walk around feeling sorry for yourself or talking about how much you hate Valentine's Day. Instead, start putting positive, loving energy out into the universe, and see how much more quickly you will get it back.

If you want to find a relationship, take a cue from this woman and decide to make it happen yourself. Tonight, put on something cozy or sexy, pour yourself a glass of champagne, and nibble on chocolates while you complete the foolproof Build a Boyfriend Workshop in How to Love Like a Hot Chick. This unique process walks you step by step through figuring out exactly want you want in a man, in a relationship, and in your love life. It is a great way for you to figure out not only what you don't want in a man but exactly what type of relationship will make you feel happy and fulfilled. Once you've completed the program, you can put it away, never think about it again, and go back out into the world knowing that you've taken a huge step towards finding love. You'll notice that you'll attract different types of men than before and you'll even become attracted to different men, too. Even better, it will be easier for you to know right off the bat when a man isn't right for you, because he won't have the qualities on your list. You won't have to waste your time going on date after date with a man before you realize that he's simply not the one for you.

Making the decision to be pro-active in order to get something you want can be incredibly powerful, so treat yourself this Valentine's Day by giving yourself that gift. And once you've built your very own boyfriend, you can celebrate the fact that by next year, you'll have found the love you truly do deserve.

Julia Moulden: A Valentine's Day Inspiration: To Sir, With Love

2009-02-14T10:14:41Z

Looking for a great movie for Valentine's Day? Something to help you believe again in the power of love to save people's lives and change the world?

You can't go wrong with the 1967 classic, "To Sir, With Love", starring Sidney Poitier. I saw it recently and highly recommend it.

The story line (plot spoiler warning) is simple: an educated man who can't get work in his chosen field finds himself teaching a bunch of rowdy teens in east end London. Pushed to his limits, he has a breakthrough, and ends up ditching the curriculum altogether. Instead, he engages his students in conversation, and helps them develop moral intelligence as they move toward adulthood.

(If you're a boomer, you may get all choked up listening to the title song, sung by Lulu.)

Watching it again after all these years, I was surprised and delighted to draw parallels between Poitier's character and another rather more contemporary leader who is also calling on us to become our best selves. In his inauguration speech, President Obama said that, "The time has come to set aside childish things...". And reawakened us to the age-old notion that there is meaning in contributing to something greater than ourselves.

What does this have to do with New Radicals? Stay with me. (For more on how people are putting skills acquired in their careers to work on the world's greatest challenges, please see archived articles.)

Behavioral science tells us that human beings want to be part of a group. Being part of a group makes us feel secure. And one way to continually establish whether we are part of the group is to compare our behavior to that of others in the group.

In short, we want to emulate other people.

One progressive energy company, Positive Energy, is using behavioral science to help people change their consumption habits.

PE wanted to encourage the residents of Sacramento, California to use less energy. It knew that traditional approaches, such as financial incentives (use less power, save money) were only moderately effective. So the firm decided to try what's known as "normative messaging" instead.

"We used sophisticated data analysis to give 35,000 residents information about their individual energy consumption," founder Daniel Yates says. "And to compare this data to other community members. The result is that overall energy use dropped by two percent."

It turns out that knowing you're keeping up with the Joneses - in this rather more positive take on that phrase - is incredibly powerful. PE is already ahead of their projections, and is moving rapidly toward reducing energy consumption in Sacramento by 15 percent over the next decade.

Clearly, it's human nature to want to be like others. So, please, let's have more positive role models. Like Positive Energy. President Obama. And "To Sir, with love."

This is my valentine to you all. It's wonderful to know that there are so many smart, compassionate people out there who are doing good works - or who are eager to begin. Please continue to share your stories. By all means, email me directly at julia@wearethenewradicals.com. And consider commenting below so that more people can learn about what you're doing to make the world a better place - your struggles and successes will inspire others to act.

Isobel White: Same-Sex Marriage: 5 Years Ago Today

2009-02-14T03:19:42Z

Five years ago today, my partner and I stood in line for hours at SF City Hall, waiting patiently to get our marriage license. I've chronicled how the day felt in this post, so right now I'll just say "Wow! Just like straight couples, we can look back at our wedding photos and marvel at how young and thin we were!"

In all seriousness, I got major tears in my eyes today remembering not just us, but all those hundreds of couples who stood out in the rain all weekend long. The marriages had started on Thurs Feb. 12 but had really picked up speed on Fri Feb. 13. That's the day we begged off early from work and rushed in to SF on BART. It could be our only chance, we thought -- City Hall will be closed for the long weekend and who knows what would happen by Tuesday.

But City Hall wasn't closed for the long weekend. Gavin Newsom and his staff kept it open. The line of eager loving couples stretched around the entire building. People set up tents; well-wishers sent flowers from all over; family members and friends arrived to join impromptu wedding parties.

This was meaningful to me then, for sure, but talking about it in the presence of my 4 1/4 year old daughter today made me realize how proud I am to have been part of this historic event. It really was something, all those folks willing to stand in freezing rain for hours for the right to do something many straight people take for granted. My daughter didn't really understand what we were talking about today -- we honestly don't want her to know yet that our marriage is considered odd (and worse) by so many people -- but I know that by the time we reach ten years after our SF City Hall wedding, and...er....12 years after our commitment ceremony, and...er....5 years after our wedding this past fall...See how hard it can be to remember all these many anniversaries?

Anyway, by the time she is 10 or so, she will understand how significant this all was and (I can only hope), be proud of the role her dear old fat moms played.

Leeat Granek, PhD: Everything I Know About Love I Learned From My Parents

2009-02-13T17:13:00Z

I have always been ambivalent about Valentine's Day. I'm an academic. I have a litany of complaints as long as my arm about it. It's consumeristic. It's gender restrictive. It perpetuates false fantasies about love that are harmful and degrading to women.

Yet. Still. There is small part of me -- ok, a big part of me -- that covets that red velvety heart shaped box filled with chocolates delivered ceremoniously with a bouquet of roses -- no -- peonies, accompanied by a romantic love letter.

When I was younger I thought these Valentine's Day gifts were a true declaration of *Love*. I would harass my father about what he was going to get my mom. Roses! Perfume! A new purse! I was not very creative, but my intentions were good. Alas, nothing ever materialized. My father is not the sentimental kind.

Still, as I reflect back, I realize that everything I know about love I learned from watching my parents.

My parents got married when my dad was 23 and my mom was 21. They met at the Y in Montréal. My mother saw my father across the room and just knew that this was the man she was going to marry. She maintained eye contact, she said, and that was that.

Neither of them spoke a word of English. My father was passing through Canada on his way to Europe. He had lost his entire Brigade in the 1973 Israeli war, and was, to use his own words, "escaping for a bit." My mother, also Israeli, was visiting her cousins living in Canada.

After six weeks of dating, my father proposed. He dragged my mother hiking through a snowstorm for six hours before he finally came out with it. They had walked the entire city and my mom was almost at her door before he blurted it out. The wedding ceremony took place at her cousin's house. They got a Cusinart, some bed sheets, and a paring knife. Neither had more than a high school education. Neither had ever lived outside of Israel before. They had $150 dollars to their names.

My parents were not the touchy-feely type. They didn't, as many psychologists recommend today, show affection in front of the kids. They didn't hug and kiss in public. They didn't say "I love you" a hundred times a day. They didn't even wear their wedding rings. But, they had an intimacy that was enviable.

At parties, they could communicate with each other telepathically with just a look. They laughed together more than is reasonable for any human being to expect in their lifetimes. They always seemed to be in on some joke that only they knew the punch line too. And, they had fun doing mundane things. Going to Home Depot. Gardening. Taking a walk. Shooting the breeze. Seeing a movie. Eating out.

When my mother was 33 she was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. I was 9. My older brother was 13, and my younger brother was an infant. Over the next eighteen years living with the disease she lost one breast, then another, then her hair, then a lot of weight, then her spirit, and finally, her soul when she died three and half years ago. They were married for exactly thirty years.

Throughout all this, my father never did bring her flowers, or buy her presents on Valentine's Day, but he did put his warm, solid hand on her back when she vomited day after day, night after night, for year after year.

He did make jokes and laugh with her about her "fake breasts", not the good kind, the plastic kind that she slipped into her shirt everyday.

He did buy her funky scarves and hats and tell her that she was a beautiful queen when she wrapped them around her balding head.

He did shuttle back and forth between our house and the hospital with three small children, three large bags of take-out food, and three new books for her night after night, holiday after holiday, so that we could spend time with her before she went to bed.

He did love and appreciate her. He loved her through sickness and health, through better and worse, through rich and poor, and through life and death.

This Valentine's Day, I don't want any chocolate, or flowers, or cards, or letters. I don't want anything red, or shiny, or fluffy, or cute. I want the kind of love my parents had for each other instead. Joyful. Committed. Loyal. Warm. Fun. Mutual. Love.

This kind of love doesn't only come in pairs, it's everywhere. On this day dedicated to the heart, I feel gratitude for family, friends, teachers, students, and co-workers while they are still here, alive and well, living and breathing, being and doing.

This Valentine's Day, I finally figured it out. I hope you do to.

Letterman Cooks With Martha Stewart; Makes "That's What She Said" Joke (VIDEO)

2009-02-13T14:58:40Z

Martha Stewart stopped by the Late Show to tape a segment that will air tonight of her preparing oysters with a slightly randy David Letterman.

Valentine's day was in the air as Letterman asked Stewart if she was ever a flight attendant and if he could call her Cathy. Unfortunately, some nasty hot sauce ruined the mood.

Martha poked fun at herself saying "I did invent the pomegranate" and chided Letterman for botching a "that's what she said" joke.

WATCH:

Virginia M. Moncrieff: India: Girls Gone Wild!

2009-02-13T14:32:07Z

Illicit hand-holding in shopping malls, canoodling in public parks, and women drinking in pubs. Holy cow! India seems to be veering down the highway to moral hell.

It can be annoying but often amusing when crusty old Indian fuddy-duddies sit around over cups of tea decrying the falling morals of wayward youngsters. Finger wagging is an Olympic sport in India.

But now there are more sinister developments: right wing Hindu nationalists have started making threatening declarations about what is appropriate behavior of Indian women. On 24 January the Sri Ram Sena (the Army of Ram - Ram is a Hindu god) physically attacked and verbally abused several young women at the Amnesia Lounge in Mangalore, a southern Indian college town. The attackers accused the women of being disgraceful and un-Indian for drinking and dancing with men.

Pramod Muttalik, leader of the SRS justified the attacks, saying, "We are the custodians of Indian culture." Muttalik is an old warhorse of the right wing movement. Indian magazine Frontline reported this week that Muttalik has had 41 cases filed against him in the past ten years, mostly for "promoting enmity between different groups." He is well known for inciting violence against Muslims.

The SRS are part of a rather loose coalition of right wing loonies in India affiliated with the BJP, the ruling Congress Party's main rival. The BJP (Pramod Muttalik was once a member) often overlooks the activities of vigilante groups when they target Muslims or go on rants and rampages. But this time, they condemned the violence while at the same time expressing grave concern about the declining morals of Indian youth. Congress politicians are also fretting about India's downwards spiral into the flames of moral hell, with the health minister promising that a new law will be introduced to place restrictions on drinking, or "India will not progress."

"The attack(s have) nothing to do with culture, Indian or Martian. These incidents are just an indicator of how much distance India has to travel to evolve into a modern, sophisticated society," Asma Na, a South Indian social activist told the Huffington Post. "Indian society is far behind Victorian England. The frightening thing is not that this can happen anywhere in India today."

Ten members of the SRS were arrested for the Amnesia Lounge attacks, but their campaign to protect the virtue of Indian women is now launched, and they have received the publicity they so desperately crave. On Valentine's Day - a veritable orgy of chocolates, flowers, cringe-worthy prose and over the top Bollywood style kitsch here in India - they are planning further "protests" against this western conspiracy to dilute Indian culture and destroy women's purity.

"Valentine's Day is definitely not Indian culture," Mutallik said last week. "We will not allow celebration of that day in any form."

Women are hitting back. A facebook group, The Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women, has attracted over 25,000 members in a week and has launched a campaign to send pink underpants to SRS headquarters by February 14.

The SRS is suspicious of women who would take part on such unseemly activity. "We would like to know the background of these people since nobody from good families would resort to such cheap steps," a spokesperson told the Times of India.

Curiously, India's right wing politicians do not seem overly concerned about the wide spread abuse, high levels of illiteracy, poverty, domestic subjugation and lack of basic human rights for women in their country. Instead, they make a hullaballoo around girls' purity, wasting everyone's time and energy. Did anyone say small-minded fools?

Grant Cardone: Love is a Decision

2009-02-13T13:25:00Z

Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don't use you will lose. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won't get a return. Love is something do, not something you feel because something happens to you.

Most of my life I was under the delusion that love was a feeling, something that was going to happen to me. Love is not something that happens to you but something that you make happen to you and happen to others. Love is something that grows from your actions and decisions and if you don't have love and/or not experiencing love, then there is something you don't know about love! I spent most of my adult life waiting for love to happen to me and after one failed marriage and endless searching for "the right person" I finally realized the truth about love, how to have it, how to create it and how to sustain it.

Wikipedia states love as an experience related to a strong sense of affection. Affection is a "disposition or state of mind or body" that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. This suggests that you do something rather than have something done to you.

How do you feel affection for anything? You would actually decide to show it love, admire it, pay attention to it, treat it right, honor it, praise it, and find the good in it. At which point you will then have affection for it. Mistreat it, lie to it, and ignore it and I assure you that you will not feel affection for it nor will you ever say you love it.

Love is a probably the single most universally desired human quality that exist on this planet. Love is not something you can buy or barter, it is not taught at school, it doesn't matter how rich you are, your IQ, race, creed, religion, social economic status or who you know. So on this Valentine's Day practice making a decision to love and then following that decision up with loving actions and admiration. Remember, love is not a feeling, love is a decision followed by action.

Happy Valentines Day

---

Grant Cardone, Author and International Speaker

Dr. Susan Albers: Eating Chocolate Mindfully on Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T13:22:10Z

If you crossed chocolate off the list of gifts your sweetie can buy you for Valentine's Day this year, think again. You don't have to avoid chocolate completely if you are trying to improve your eating habits or manage your weight. Unfortunately, for many dieters, Valentine's Day is a holiday that ranks in difficulty with Thanksgiving and Christmas. People watching their weight spend the early part of February fighting chocolate cravings triggered by ads and oversized candy hearts lining grocery store shelves. Many dieters fall into the "all-or-nothing" mentality -they avoid chocolate entirely or binge on it. A lot of emotional energy is expended trying to battle chocolate craving.

Instead of banishing chocolate from your diet, which isn't realistic or any fun, I recommend learning to eat it mindfully. One thing I've recommended to many of my clients is that they practice a "chocolate meditation." It is a helpful tool for people who love chocolate, but struggle with the amount they eat or the guilt they feel when they consume it. When doing the chocolate meditation, avid chocolate fans have learned how to savor chocolate rather than feel out of control when eating it. Try out these simple tips to help you begin eating chocolate mindfully:

1. Do a Mini Chocolate Meditation.
Consider for a moment how chocolate is typically eaten. People are often thinking about and desiring the next piece of chocolate before they finish the one they have. Take one chocolate kiss. Look at it closely. Listen to the sound of the foil crinkle as you open it. Inhale a very big whiff of the chocolate aroma. Intentionally roll it around in your mouth. Pay close attention to the changing taste and texture as it melts in your mouth. Don't stop focusing on the sensations until it has slid down your throat and is resting in your stomach. Try to enjoy this one piece fully from start to finish. People who do this exercise are often surprised by how sweet and satisfying one piece is when they slow down the process.

2. Practice.
It may sound funny or contradictory. Intentionally practicing eating chocolate in a controlled and mindful manner can help you when you encounter unexpected chocolate gifts or are triggered by the sight of candy. For example, take five chocolate kisses with you to work. Try the above exercise at various times through the day. Over time, you will build your confidence that you can be around chocolate without automatically overeating it.

3. Quality not Quantity.
If you are an avid chocolate fan, buy a small quantity of the most expensive kind of chocolate you can afford like Perugia or Godiva. Watch how you make the chocolate last. Notice how you eat a quality piece of chocolate in contrast to a cheap, bulk versions -- it's likely that you are much more mindful. You will appreciate the taste in the same way that you take note of how much pleasure you get from an expensive cut of steak rather than a dollar hamburger.

4. Re-gift.
If you receive a gigantic chocolate heart for Valentine's Day, re-gift it. If it has twenty-five pieces, take out five paper plates. Place five pieces on each, wrap with pretty cellophane and make a small card. Keep one plate for yourself with a collection of your favorites. You can help other people eat chocolate mindfully by giving small quantities of chocolate.

5. Chill Out.
Put chocolate in the freezer. Notice how different the taste and texture is when you experience it at a different temperature.

6. Helpful Hints.
If you anticipate that your loved one may buy you chocolate for Valentine's Day, send clear hints on what you want. Give the message that more isn't better. The kind of chocolate (dark vs. light) is likely to be more important to you than having more of it. More chocolate is a set up for feeling bad later.

7. Strategically Place it.
Where you store chocolate is key. Keep chocolate in an inconvenient location like in the back of a cupboard. You are more likely to get it when you really want it rather than just because it is in front of you.

8. Mix Chocolate with Fruit.
There is no better treat to eat mindfully than chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's Day.

You'll notice that when you slow down long enough to be present while consuming chocolate, you can fully taste each piece instead of scarfing it down. When you're mindful, you naturally eat less chocolate and other trigger foods. The fear you might have of uncontrollably eating every piece of Valentine's Day candy will lessen, and you'll be able to more fully enjoy the experience.

The Most Tragic Love Stories In History

2009-02-13T13:20:14Z

Nothing celebrates Valentine's Day quite like a good love story. And by good, we mean tragic, of course.

Though Shakespeare's plays are littered with doomed lovers - unrequited passion and death makes for good reading, apparently - couples equally as star-crossed can be found in the world's history books.

Russell Simmons: What Inspires You?

2009-02-13T12:13:59Z

Valentine's Day is here and we are thinking about love. Not the passionate, intense, anxiety-producing am-I-worthy/are-they-worthy kind of love. Not the dim the lights, cue the Al Green music, heart pounding, getting lucky kind of love that can leave you electrified or electrocuted by the object of your desire.

Today we are thinking about compassionate love. The kind that comes from empathy, affection, care, trust, and, above all, a shared respect for all people. This is the kind of love we are after, the kind you see when an elderly couple spend their time joyfully helping each other through aches and pains that escalate to terminal illness and end-of-life small gestures to insure that dignity and love are the last things they share. The kind of love that is everyday business as usual for teachers, physical therapists, nurses, well-diggers, and just about anyone of any profession who has the ability to be kind in handling their affairs no matter the chaos they may be living in.

We are thinking about the question "What inspires you?" and we are inspired by compassionate love. With great love all things are possible. This is true. In Mahatma Gandhi's words, "love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable." Mother Teresa spent her life working to give a voice to the poor and to promoting love as an essential ingredient to life. Her life devoted to the poor was among the richest in human history. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years imprisoned because of his actions to end the loveless and dehumanizing oppression of Apartheid. After surviving circumstances and abuses that would seem impossible to endure, this giant among leaders and humanitarians presided over the transition of South Africa to a post-Apartheid democracy with justice and compassion. In Long Walk to Freedom, Mandela wrote of love, "No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela both were awarded Nobel Peace Prizes, and Gandhi sadly was overlooked for that honor, but we can safely say we believe these three know their stuff and that love is central to human rights, civil disobedience, ending poverty, and achieving peace.

Compassionate love binds people together. It demands action. It's not idealistic and you have to be willing to free yourself of personal concerns for a time to get it. Granted, it's not easy for us to step outside of our material needs for a minute and show a true level of concern for the lives of others. We have to set aside what we think and how we'd handle a given situation, and instead meet people in their worlds with all of their unfamiliar mystery, horror and beauty. The love happens when we find ourselves bonding with people whom we feel a great connection to yet we maintain our own separate world of experiences, perspectives and obstacles. The love comes from us knowing their lives are not ours, but we want to put effort and movement behind understanding their problems and how they are asking for help. Compassionate love thumbs its nose at empty gestures. It's going to require a little bit of sacrifice and understanding you aren't in charge, but what you get in return will leave you feeling you've just robbed somebody. The compassionate love you give will get you things that are difficult to buy - purpose, creativity, genuine community, and maybe inner peace.

It's with compassionate love that we are inspired by C.I.D.A. (Community and Individual Development Association) in Johannesburg, South Africa. It's the first beneficiary of the Diamond Empowerment Fund (D.E.F.), www.diamondmempowerment.org, founded in 2007 to raise funds for empowerment through education in African nations where diamonds are a natural resource. The Green Bracelet is the symbol of D.E.F.'s cause.

C.I.D.A. started 20 years ago teaching free Transcendental Meditation for disadvantaged communities in South Africa. It launched CIDA City Campus in 2000 as the first virtually free degree-granting college for the huge population of bright high school graduates unable to afford the costs of higher education. CIDA's program combined the stress management and cognitive learning features of consciousness-based education with an academic focus on a business degree program. Vocational training programs for students who were not yet prepared for higher education were also offered. Equally important to the program was giving service to the school and to the student's own community as fundamental principles. The school has grown and we see CIDA City Campus graduates getting well-paying jobs that help them to support not just themselves but also their extended families. However, there's an overwhelming need to find more and better options and resources for young South Africans so expansion of the vision is now the goal. CIDA City Campus will focus on being a business college, and plans have begun for two new schools (the Maharishi Institute and the Eco-Campus for Africa) that will serve more students through a broader range of courses to build basic skills - computer, reading, communication and math courses and vocational education, as well as extensive courses on sustainability to train young Africans for the green economy. Service to the school/community and consciousness-based education will be central to the curriculum.

The students at CIDA give us the chance to give, get and witness compassionate love. We see it in them in their focus and thirst for higher education knowing it will give them a way up and out of their current station. We hear the stories of their personal struggles that include extreme poverty, loss of parents, disease, and astronomical unemployment. We see their determination not to be pulled under by the weight of these obstacles, but to rise above not just for their own sake but to be part of the solutions for their communities. We see all the qualities of compassionate love hard at work making the impossible possible. This inspires us.

This inspires us to call the blogging community to think about the importance of inspiration, and at Global Grind (www.globalgrind.com) we are featuring a special editorial theme around this fundamental question, "What inspires you?"

The great Zora Neal Hurston said "Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." Yet another reason to go for LOVE.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Russell Simmons, Founder and Advisory Board Chairman
Ellen Haddigan, Executive Director
Diamond Empowerment Fund

Ari Bendersky: Who Wants (Sparkling) Wine?

2009-02-13T10:57:27Z

Champagne is for Lovers -- and Everyone Else

They say Valentine's Day is for lovers. It's a romantic day where people feel the need to express their love for each other. Me? I'm cynical and really don't care when I can say "I love you" any day of the year. That said, while many couples will fawn over each other across the table and give each other expensive jewelry or cheap heart-shaped chocolate treats, we'll be having fun with friends at a dinner party. Will we drink Champagne? Likely. Will we have wine and scotch? Definitely. But for those of you who want to toast your love and want to do it with a bottle of bubbly, here are suggestions of some of my favorites. They won't break the bank, but they will tickle your nose and make you happy -- even if you, too, are a cynic.

Piper-Heidsieck Brut Cuvée, N.V. and "Baby Piper"
With its bright red and gold label, this is one of the most easily recognized Champagnes around. This pale gold, fresh sparkling wine comprises Pinot Noir (55 percent), Pinot Meunier (30 percent) and Chardonnay (15 percent). The result leads to a palate of tart apples and ripe pear with hints of sharp citrus and pineapple. You can drink this bottle on a special occasion or just sitting around the house on a Sunday morning at brunch (mimosas!) with good friends. It also comes in handy individual sizes, so you can take it on a picnic, to a tailgate or sneak it into your nephew's piano recital. The 750ml size is available at Trader Joe's (3745 N. Lincoln), $34.99; the "Baby Piper" is at World Market (2844 N. Broadway), $9.99 each.

Saint-Hilaire Blanquette de Limoux Blanc de Blancs Extra Dry 2004
If the length of the name has you exhausted, you'll be happy when you finally get to kick back with a glass of this delightful sparkling wine. Produced from the fairly obscure Mauzac grape (which is blended with about 10 percent Chardonnay and five percent Chenin Blanc), this is a dry but slightly sweet wine that goes great with dessert, especially rich fruit tarts and sorbet. However, because it's a complex bottle, it can be enjoyed with fish or even chicken. Not only is this smooth and not overpowering, it has a great history -- Benedictine monks first started making Blanquette de Limoux in 1544, more than a century before Dom Pérignon first made Champagne -- laying its claim to possibly being the oldest sparkling wine in the world. Available at Sam's Wines & Spirits (1720 N. Marcey), $11.99.

Duval-Leroy Rosé de Saignée, N.V.
Duval-Leroy has become one of the most respected Champagne houses, especially since Carol Duval-Leroy took the helm more than 15 years ago. The care that goes into her wine is obvious the moment it touches your lips. Produced in the traditional saignée method, the grapes are left to soak in the juice for 16-24 hours during the maceration period, allowing for just a bit of the color to blend with the wine. The result is a gorgeous pink hue erupting with bubbles, with a nose offering delicious red fruit and a taste combining berries and vanilla. This is truly a celebratory Champagne that's worth the splurge -- and it's one of my favorites around. Available at Sam's, $55.99.

Adam Rose: This Year, Why Not Ban Valentine's Day?

2009-02-13T10:13:04Z

Last week, a guy I know told me he was sick and tired of walking into drug stores and getting blinded by pink and red.

So he created Ban Valentine's Day.

The idea was to let people spell out why they think the prostitute of holidays should be abolished.

And to let them send sardonic Valentine e-cards to friends.

So far there have been hundreds of posts--about everything from Hallmark's commercial sliminess, to the frustrations of the romantically challenge, to secret adulteries.

What ARE some of the reasons Valentine's Day be banned?

Because I'm jealous of other people having sex.

Because I get fat from eating all the chocolate.

Because I hate pink.

Because the initials for Valentine's Day are V.D.

Because I convinced my boyfriend to drop a lot of cash on dinner, and I'm cheating on him.

Because we're all going to get laid off, EVERYONE!

Because I can't have a romantic evening with all three girlfriends at the same time. They'd find out.

Because love is just a result of synaptic connections within our brain. Why don't we celebrate Science Day?

Because that b*tch Lucy will continue to pull that football away at the last possible second.

Because Hallmark raped my mom.

Go to BanValentinesDay.com to share your reasons. Misery and scorn love company.

Oh, and other Hallmark holidays--beware.