I am a journalist, not a preacher, and I'm not about to tell everyone to hold off on sex until wedding vows are exchanged. But I've come to believe as a longtime relationship writer that it's best to hold off on sex until it comes with love.
The so-called "virginity movement" is not nor should it be equated with Christianity. To do so sells the Gospel short and leads to all sorts of false notions of where young women find their true worth and what young Christian men should prize in them.
Consider how every time we talk about sex and sexuality in dualistic terms -- as either right or wrong in whatever form -- we are controlling others' experience of it instead of being interested in their well-being.
I embraced the image of myself as the radical abstinence practitioner until I became engaged at the age of 24. Up to this point, my pride had deluded me into thinking that I had a balanced, Godly view of sexuality.
My novel, The Little Bride, begins in a basement in Odessa, where 16-year-old maidservant Minna Losk is being given her "Look" - an examination to see if she's sufficiently "fit" (i.e., "virginal") to become a mail-order bride to America.
Why did it takes us so long to arrive at a positive media portrayal of first sexual experiences -- planned, protected yet ignited by romantic passion? And why has the Glee episode sparked such a controversy?