According to Emily Post, there are cherished traditions and wedding etiquette, but she never said anything about "rules." There are no real "rules" that need to be followed when planning your fabulous fete. Other than of course, making it legal.
Even deeply spiritual people may not be able to join a church when they're in the midst of life's transitions. You're not alone as you search for a clergy person, but there are some things that you want to keep in mind.