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'Shouldn't You Be Over That by Now?' How to Respond to Judgment on Your Grieving Process

Megan Devine | Posted 04.15.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

Sometimes it just makes it easier on you, easier on your heart and mind, if you simply stop trying to explain. Refusing to explain or defend your grief doesn't mean you let other people go on and on about it, continually telling you how you should live.

Life in a Bubble With Pain and Grief

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 04.14.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

They don't want to see inside. They don't want to see my pain. To them I am on a girls' night out. They forget while they go home to their respective husbands, I go home to an empty house.

Are You Grieving 'Right'? What's Right, What's 'Wrong'... And WTF?

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.14.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

I have always taken great umbrage at anyone criticizing, questioning or opining on how the widowed handle their grief and their highly individual and intensely personal healing journeys. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of it going on.

The Reality of Grief

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 04.09.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

Reality: He is not here. Reality: He is not coming back. Reality: He is not here and won't be here again. Reality: Not ever. Reality sucks.

If It Isn't Meant to 'Cure' Grief, What Good Is Therapy?

Megan Devine | Posted 04.03.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

A good therapist is a wonderful thing: They know that there is nothing about you that's wrong. They know their role is to listen and validate, to come up alongside you and provide support.

I Can Find Myself Whole in the Dimension of Grief

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 03.31.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

We sit on her balcony overlooking the ocean and talk and cry together. She suggests we drive into Santa Barbara and do a little shopping. What a delightful idea. But driving through the town overwhelms me with memories

The One Thing You Should Never Ever Say To The Widowed

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.31.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

As defined by virtually every dictionary in every language, "ex" means former. The death of a spouse or partner does not nullify a marriage or relationship -- that sort of nullification involves a divorce or a breakup. I assure you that when it comes to widowhood, no one left the marriage willingly

The Real Difference Between Death And Divorce

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.24.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

Be it biblical or folk; fictional or popular, history in all of its forms has certainly had its share of classic struggles and conflicts: David vs. Goliath; the Hatfields vs. McCoys; Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs; Ginger vs. MaryAnn; the Dallas Cowboys vs. Just About Any Other Team In The NFL and of course, My Hair vs. Humidity. Today, we look at yet another epic 'struggle' and conflict with which countless have taken serious issue.

A Letter to People in Pain: The Early Days of Grief Are a World of Their Own

Megan Devine | Posted 03.12.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

If you're here, in the early days, and the universe has just split open and everything has changed, I'm sorry you're here. Others have come before you, but that doesn't really matter now.

Healthy Grieving

Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW | Posted 03.05.2014 | Healthy Living
Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

When someone you love leaves the planet, you are no longer quite the same person. Wishing to return to your old self is an exercise in defeat. Instead, recognize that you are growing into a new self. This new self will integrate love, loss and change. Life is always about change and integration.

Newton's Third Law of Grieving

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 02.24.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

Everywhere I look I see evidence of my past life with Rob, of who I was and where I was going. I can not see beyond it.

Grief and Healing: Will I Ever Recover?

Megan Devine | Posted 02.21.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

For me, any outside source or force asking me when I'll get better is going to be met with irritation. But if I do the asking, if I wonder -- myself -- what healing or recovery might look like, then it becomes a very different question.

'I Was Dragged Kicking And Screaming Into The Wonder That Has Become Social Media'

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.19.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

I confess... I am a blonde-haired, green-eyed, modern-day dinosaur.

You Aren't Here Now: How Grief and Mindfulness Don't Mix

Megan Devine | Posted 04.13.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

This is the life you are called to be present for. This is the moment that asks for your awareness. Not because you are improved by what has happened, not because you needed it, not so you can turn it into some kind of gift.

Have You Heard You're Not Alone in Your Grief? It Isn't Really True

Megan Devine | Posted 04.05.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

You alone carry the knowledge of how your grief lives in you. You alone know all the filaments of life and of love that fly through you. You alone know how deeply your life is now changed. You alone have to face this, inside your own heart.

Why Celebrating Every Birthday Is So Important

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 04.05.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

In earlier years and like so many of you, I fondly remember the goal of getting to the 'next number' on the ladder of life. I remember being ten years old and wanting oh-so-much to be twelve years old because twelve meant the 'sophistication' of junior high school.

On Being A 29-Year-Old Widow

Elizabeth Scarboro | Posted 04.02.2014 | Weddings
Elizabeth Scarboro

Wednesday morning, 7 a.m., the radio alarm blaring. Keep your eyes closed. Don't move, because you have miraculously woken up in your old life.

Freedom Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be Now That I'm A Widow

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 03.31.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

This past weekend was jam packed, again, still. A combination of my need to keep busy and the freedom to actually be able to get out. But obviously that freedom comes at a high price.

The Important Things We Need To Know About Grief

Megan Devine | Posted 03.25.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

We need to develop some skillful means both to witness grief, and to live in grief. We need to learn how to support rather than to solve. We need to practice being in there with grief, rather than getting out of it. And we need to hear the distinction between the two.

A Sentence No Parent Should Ever Hear

Eric W. | Posted 03.24.2014 | Healthy Living
Eric W.

A woman from the hospital asked me if I had any friends or family that they could call for me. I shook my head yes. They asked me for the number. I handed them my phone and pointed to my parents in the contact list.

Making Promises: What Does a Wedding Ring Represent?

Eric W. | Posted 03.19.2014 | Weddings
Eric W.

She was my fiancée, not my wife. I am widowed, but never married.

The Dauntingly Large Envelope I Received A Month After My Husband's Death

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.15.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

It was January, 2001; one month after my husband's death. I awakened one morning to an envelope sent by a dauntingly large law firm; something that no one needs to receive immediately after you have buried your beloved.

Grief and Anxiety: How Can I Calm Down When I Know Bad Things Happen?

Megan Devine | Posted 03.10.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

The crazy train of fear prevents you from being present to what is, and it most definitely keeps you from enjoying what is here in this moment. Following these steps can get you off that train before it takes you too far.

Who Is Really To 'Blame' For Your Spouse's Death?

Carole Brody Fleet | Posted 03.08.2014 | Fifty
Carole Brody Fleet

It is a sad reality that after losing a spouse, many widowed are the victims of accusation, criticism and actual blame. Whether it comes from the outside (relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc.) or is instead self-imposed, there is a lot of unnecessary pain being inflicted on the widowed; the very people who are in desperate need of support, rather than spite.

How Many People Does it Take to Fill the Hole in My Heart After My Husband Dies?

Jamie Greenebaum | Posted 03.04.2014 | Fifty
Jamie Greenebaum

Looking back over what I have done and with whom, I am staggered to realize it has taken 18 people to keep me on an even keel for two weeks.